Now comes the time to start over. Yes, pick myself up & dust myself back off & go back out online....Which brings in a whole new twist....after a very painful disentanglement from TBFVN, I know I need to start over again...SIGH, SIGH....Going back online isn't always fun. Starting the whole shebang over--bleh. I know, I should be feeling like, "OOH, a new adventure, new people to meet, how exciting!" I'm so fucking NOT! But as I mentioned in the last post--50 first dates...well a lot of the guys I've met just don't cut it for me. My mom says I have to kiss a lot of frogs but I'm not sure I want to.
Here's the process:
1. Change status on the dating sites back to single from seeing someone or turn the profile back on.
2. Start searching potentials & logging in to generate new interest
3. Maybe send a few "icebreakers" or "flirts", or "winks" or whatevers
4. Wait for the fish to start nibbling--which invariably they do....
5. Regularly check who's been looking at your profile to see if there are any worth emailing
The Fish:
The emails start rolling in like crazy--sometimes there are so many that I can't sort them all. TBFVN says men never get as many as the women do--which makes sense since women are told to NEVER email first. I will send an email if a potential guy looks seriously cool--I did with TBFVN--but look where it got me...sigh.
Anyway--most of the guys are just not even remotely my type--I hate to say it but many are tubby, 50-something, balding & BORING! I mean I'm not a knock out or anything, but yeesh! My profile clearly says I am looking for men from 35-50. Over 5'9" at least. I have nothing against short guys--I dated one once but I know I fit better with someone 5'10" or better. If the guy is bigger, but solid that's ok too--but tubby is different. I am an athletic gal--I have a blackbelt in taekwondo, I horseback ride, sail, run & go to the gym regularly so I want men who are a little athletic or are at least willing to go out & do something beyond the movies. How frickin' hard is that? To them, I'm a M.I.L.F.---Mom I Like To Fuck. Actually, one of my BFFs--CFW, came up with Soccer M.I.L.F.--we were even thinking about having t-shirts made to wear at our kids' soccer games...or Hockey M.I.L.F. (to go with the current times)--a little much for our suburban Baltimore neighborhood though so we nixed that idea. So far there are a couple that may be promising--out of at least 50, so only time will tell--I'll keep you posted of course.
The Fish (Part II)
These are the youngins'. I am the cougar here. They are 19-25 & think I'm a desperate sexual Samantha (which I may be since I'm not getting regular sex right now). They claim that "older women really turn them on..." They think that they will get a lot of sex (which they will) with more uninhibited women than their like-age counterparts. Which also may be true. However, other then the physical, what in God's name would we really have in common? I have a tween-age son for gosh sakes! Threy are barely out of highschool/college. I can't begin to tell you how many 20-somethings pick me up at bars. Very flattering, but also quite amusing.
So I'm off to start again--wish me luck--o--& then there's the lesbians who try to pick me up too--but I'll save that for another time....
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Cyber-Stalking 101--boyfriend style
So welcome to my blog--if only for my own cathartic need & if no one reads this, at least I know I have a place to spill my guts. Before I get to my cyber-stalker let me just give a little background on why I started this running dialogue of the trials of modern single-mom dating.
I have been on at least 50 first dates (most probably more) & truth be told it gets mighty frustrating out there. Most of these dates have come from my online antics & for the most part have proven that there are A LOT of men out there. Insert the but.... & you fill in your own blank. Unfortunately those men have been just so wrong--except for a recent one--I'll call him The Bull from Van Ness (TBFVN) (here's where the story title comes in).
We met online this past summer & it was a rather instantaneous attraction--musical tastes, check, sailing, check, hot sex, check, check, check....oops--intelligence, quirky world-view...my list could go on. But as all really great things often go as being too good to be true--so did he--as my boyfriend & rather recently(OUCH). You know the old commitment issue--so I fall prey.
However, he seems to have a bit of a penchant for fucked-up former girlfriends. (I like to think that I was the first relatively normal one) but I digress. I've listened to him have a conversation with one such chickie & it is scary what I found out--something to do with stolen credit cards, cash & a DUI. And after 2 years he still has some of her shit stashed away....do I need to say hmmmmm? Anyway the convo was a bit disturbing: threats that if she doesn't make arrangements to pick the stuff up, he'll tell her son what a fucked-up liar she is, etc. I won't say how he has access to her son's info because that'd be too revealing here, suffice it to say-he most definitely could locate him. Anyway, he seems to have collected a few ones like that, which brings me to the cyber-shit.
One of my friends has a blog that I follow pretty closely--check out the list--there it is. He told me a couple months ago that someone was tracking my posts to his blog. Googling my screen name & following the links. So I asked him if he could find out why, how & from where it originated. He couldn't but would tell me if they came back. Anyway, I then googled my own screen name & lo & behold up pops links to TBFVN. Interesting. Time passes & last week my buddy tells me that the stalker has hit again. This time he found out where it came from--now this is very interesting....the SEC! He says--"are you in trouble with questionable stock dealings?" Laughing, I reply--"no way!" But my little red warning light comes on to tell me that TBFVN must be involved--you know...D.C. & all. Now I know it has to be a woman too--who else would be remotely interested in my connection to the Bull? I'm thinking--how stupid is this chickie! Why would you cyber-stalk someone from your work computer anyway??? As it stands, I immediately call TBFVN & tell him that he needs to let the person know to cut the shit out. I know it's relatively harmless, but I think it's really uncool to pry like that into my life & for that matter, my friend's(not TBFVN)--& to leave a calling card! I may google a new guy & pull up court records for safety reasons but I don't go tracking his connections in cyberspace--that's just not right. In a twisted way--it's nice that someone was so interested in who I was that they felt the need to track me twice, but really! My now ex won't reveal who she is, but he assures me that he took care of it--I wonder--what threats did he make against her?
I have been on at least 50 first dates (most probably more) & truth be told it gets mighty frustrating out there. Most of these dates have come from my online antics & for the most part have proven that there are A LOT of men out there. Insert the but.... & you fill in your own blank. Unfortunately those men have been just so wrong--except for a recent one--I'll call him The Bull from Van Ness (TBFVN) (here's where the story title comes in).
We met online this past summer & it was a rather instantaneous attraction--musical tastes, check, sailing, check, hot sex, check, check, check....oops--intelligence, quirky world-view...my list could go on. But as all really great things often go as being too good to be true--so did he--as my boyfriend & rather recently(OUCH). You know the old commitment issue--so I fall prey.
However, he seems to have a bit of a penchant for fucked-up former girlfriends. (I like to think that I was the first relatively normal one) but I digress. I've listened to him have a conversation with one such chickie & it is scary what I found out--something to do with stolen credit cards, cash & a DUI. And after 2 years he still has some of her shit stashed away....do I need to say hmmmmm? Anyway the convo was a bit disturbing: threats that if she doesn't make arrangements to pick the stuff up, he'll tell her son what a fucked-up liar she is, etc. I won't say how he has access to her son's info because that'd be too revealing here, suffice it to say-he most definitely could locate him. Anyway, he seems to have collected a few ones like that, which brings me to the cyber-shit.
One of my friends has a blog that I follow pretty closely--check out the list--there it is. He told me a couple months ago that someone was tracking my posts to his blog. Googling my screen name & following the links. So I asked him if he could find out why, how & from where it originated. He couldn't but would tell me if they came back. Anyway, I then googled my own screen name & lo & behold up pops links to TBFVN. Interesting. Time passes & last week my buddy tells me that the stalker has hit again. This time he found out where it came from--now this is very interesting....the SEC! He says--"are you in trouble with questionable stock dealings?" Laughing, I reply--"no way!" But my little red warning light comes on to tell me that TBFVN must be involved--you know...D.C. & all. Now I know it has to be a woman too--who else would be remotely interested in my connection to the Bull? I'm thinking--how stupid is this chickie! Why would you cyber-stalk someone from your work computer anyway??? As it stands, I immediately call TBFVN & tell him that he needs to let the person know to cut the shit out. I know it's relatively harmless, but I think it's really uncool to pry like that into my life & for that matter, my friend's(not TBFVN)--& to leave a calling card! I may google a new guy & pull up court records for safety reasons but I don't go tracking his connections in cyberspace--that's just not right. In a twisted way--it's nice that someone was so interested in who I was that they felt the need to track me twice, but really! My now ex won't reveal who she is, but he assures me that he took care of it--I wonder--what threats did he make against her?
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