"I Love You Because..."

Read an article in Redbook magazine recently that I think is a really good reminder of positive couples communication.  Often, after reading these self-help articles, I think to myself, "Yeah, that's kinda obvious."  But frankly, I think that we often lose sight of what appears to be obvious in print.  Anyhoo, the article is entitled: "When was the last time you & your guy ______?"  It lists many activities but the ones that stood out were the fill-in-the-blank answers of "held hands", "really made out",  "cooked a meal together", "danced", and "said I love you because".  All of these build communication in some way & re-ignite the connections that we may sometimes take for granted, but I really liked the last one as did Xing Fu.  In fact he reminded me of it tonight when we spoke and it has since inspired my first post of 2011.  We often say to our significant others (boyfriend, children, family members & friends) that we love them.  Usually it's that quick, "Love ya'".  While it is certainly nice to hear--a very specific reason is much, much better.  It builds the appreciation for that person that you are saying it to.  In the article it is specific to a significant other but why not say it to your kids, parents, etc.  We don't show our loving appreciation enough--and as the new year begins, it seems like a timely occasion to let those important people know. 

I liked the other fill-ins as well--what I like in particular is that many of the suggestions, Xing Fu & I do already.  I can only hope that in the new year we continue not to take one another for granted & continue to fully enjoy where our relationship grows.

Finally, I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve; mine was spent with some of my favorite people watching some damn fine fireworks from the Baltimore harbor.  All the best for 2011.

Last Post of the Year

Been quite a year for me--an incredible one.  I wrote last year how I thought that 2010 was going to be a big one--I was right.  So here's to the end of a great year for me, & my kid & on to another forward-thinking & moving year.  A top ten of 2010 in no particular order:

1. My son's Bar Mitzvah
2. Great sailing & racing on the Chesapeake
3. Making some incredible new friends
4. Seeing Spoon twice
5. Seeing great music
6. Wine tasting with the BFFs
7. Raven's game
8. Much more laughter than tears
9. January 2010
10. Xing Fu

There are many more events, people, examples, etc., but yes, an incredible year and mostly a positive one--lucky me.  

Resolutions?  Continue working to become a better mom, friend, daughter, sister, girlfriend, aunt; a better me.   And looking forward to a great 2011!  

Happy New Year to all!

 

Empty Bed Blues

Now, when my bed gets empty
I get to feelin' kind of mean and blue.
When my bed gets empty,
get to feelin' awful mean and blue.
The springs are gettin' rusty
sleepin' single like I do.
--Bessie Smith   Empty Bed Blues 

After about 5 days straight of being with each other, I now have been experiencing the empty bed blues.  Which sucks.  I wonder sometimes if I have separation anxiety--of course that diagnosis in the DSM IV is reserved for children--there is new research on the adult--I just don't deal well with separation..recollections of last summer for example.   I'm doing fine now--last night just sucked--most probably because I was worried since it was close to 10:30 PM & didn't know if Xing Fu had arrived at his destination OK.  I told him that other folk may not give a shit whether or not he arrived safely but since I cared about him, it would've been preferable to actually let me know.  Is that asking too much??  I don't think so...Intellectually I know that sometimes my feelings can be irrational, but they're there, ready to taunt me.  I think it is tougher at night--hence the EBB, & I know he'll be back, but I'm just uncomfortable is all.  

“What’s empty bed syndrome?” I asked curiously, pretty sure that I knew, but wanting to clarify because Anne was constantly coining new phrases.

“It’s how sometimes all you want is a warm body to cuddle with, especially when you’re used to having one—and when you don’t you really miss it, you know?” she replied.  (from Elle Magazine)

I really miss it. 

But earlier this week we passed another relationship test--we purchased something together for my house--a real sense of permanence--nice.  And New Year's Eve will be spent together--also wonderful.  But I still miss him even if he'll be back tomorrow.