"If this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold We’re shining bright and I want you, I want you to know.."
--James Blunt, Stay the Night
This weekend marked the first year that Xing Fu & I have been together. We both realize that this is really just the beginning, but we acknowledge that it has been a great start & feel that we're doing this right--hopefully learning from our mistakes in past relationships & applying it to ours. This weekend was not only a time of celebration, but also one of reflection. We did talk about the past & what we do differently now--it's proven to be a very good strategy--and I'm continuously amazed at how compatible we are on so many levels--I said that last year too.
Busy one too--I can't believe how fast the year went--& the weekend. Friday, in celebration, I finally opened one of the last bottles I brought back from California--a beautiful 2005 Pinot Noir from Acacia--made even better in that it was a limited release from the Beckstoffer vineyard in Carneros and cannot be obtained outside of California. It was truly phenomenal--a match for our celebration. I cooked two dry-aged rib eye steaks from Ceriello's at Belvedere Square on the grill--a great match & another sentimental throw-back to last year's dinner that I made the first night we were together. And then, in homage to the list of couples who play together, stay together, I challenged him to a Scrabble game & proceeded to beat the pants off him (too bad we didn't play strip Scrabble). Laughing all the way.
Saturday brought us to an early wine tasting with the BFFs because of the Raven's game being held right in our usual prime time wine tasting--such a sad loss but it was less so as it was spent over at my BFF(J)'s house and spent amongst great friends.
Again, in celebration, I brought another beautiful Pinot Noir. This time from Hartford Court--Hailey's Block vineyard--a 2007. After the game Xing Fu took me out for a proper anniversary dinner--everything was great & so easy with him--and the conversation is always interesting.
And on Sunday, we added to the list--we took my son & his best friend bowling. And I was surprised to find that Xing Fu is quite the bowler--his own ball & all--so he proceeded to beat the pants off of me. He was so cute to watch when he knew he would get a strike--his body language just radiated--I just enjoyed watching him being happy to score well. Another great weekend...to start another great year for us. In an email this morning:
"Another great weekend for us. Way cool." My response, "Way cool indeed."
It was a good day & evening--one of those grateful for what you got kinda times. Started out with the usual TKD class & then my son's demo team practice. From there my BFFs & I dressed up as hippie-chicks. According to my son it wasn't much of a stretch--in fact my sis said the same thing--mebbe they're finally onto something... the three of us embraced the holiday (and also the free gift at one of the wine shops if you dress up...) My BFF(A) had go-go boots that Nancy Sinatra herself couldn't hold a candle to, & my BFF(J) wore tie-dye. I had a long velvet skirt with a peasant blouse & a scarf around my head. I also sported two long braids on either side of my face...My son decided to be a hippie as well--great 'fro with a bandanna around it, sunglasses, a Yellow Submarine tie-dyed t-shirt we bought at The Other Side in Towson, a big peace sign necklace & a tambourine. Can't forget the sandals as well.
Anyway, we planned to go to our favorite wine shops to sample as usual. I hadn't heard from SM so I was little bummed--we hadn't gotten together for our weekly dinner & I wasn't sure about wine-tasting. But finally I get a text in the morning asking me what time I'll get there. I told him & went about my business with my girlfriends. I go pick up my BFF(A) & we go over to the first place--they were sampling a great local vineyard's wines--Black Ankle--highly recommend them--they actually illustrate what Maryland wines can be....try Crumbling Rock in particular. But I digress--on my way to picking her up, I get a text from SM--he's over at the one store waiting for me--was I going to be there soon--he made sure that he was there when I told him I was planning to be there---that was very nice.
Onward to the next one--SM said he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it--his kids were waiting for him for Halloween--I understand completely. But he shows up & we try an amazing Pinot Noir from Acacia Vineyard--Lone Tree Vineyard--2005 Pinot Noir--simply amazing. My BFFs abandon me at the store & I'm left with SM--love my gals--they had it planned so we'd have some alone time together--sweeties!
Later, our boys had a Halloween party where all of the parents hung out--we all had pizza & the boys collected a TON of candy--I need to get rid of some of it--it was just over the top!
Overall it was a great time & not a bull or bear in sight like last year--funny how quickly things have changed...
So welcome to my blog--if only for my own cathartic need & if no one reads this, at least I know I have a place to spill my guts. Before I get to my cyber-stalker let me just give a little background on why I started this running dialogue of the trials of modern single-mom dating.
I have been on at least 50 first dates (most probably more) & truth be told it gets mighty frustrating out there. Most of these dates have come from my online antics & for the most part have proven that there are A LOT of men out there. Insert the but.... & you fill in your own blank. Unfortunately those men have been just so wrong--except for a recent one--I'll call him The Bull from Van Ness (TBFVN) (here's where the story title comes in).
We met online this past summer & it was a rather instantaneous attraction--musical tastes, check, sailing, check, hot sex, check, check, check....oops--intelligence, quirky world-view...my list could go on. But as all really great things often go as being too good to be true--so did he--as my boyfriend & rather recently(OUCH). You know the old commitment issue--so I fall prey.
However, he seems to have a bit of a penchant for fucked-up former girlfriends. (I like to think that I was the first relatively normal one) but I digress. I've listened to him have a conversation with one such chickie & it is scary what I found out--something to do with stolen credit cards, cash & a DUI. And after 2 years he still has some of her shit stashed away....do I need to say hmmmmm? Anyway the convo was a bit disturbing: threats that if she doesn't make arrangements to pick the stuff up, he'll tell her son what a fucked-up liar she is, etc. I won't say how he has access to her son's info because that'd be too revealing here, suffice it to say-he most definitely could locate him. Anyway, he seems to have collected a few ones like that, which brings me to the cyber-shit.
One of my friends has a blog that I follow pretty closely--check out the list--there it is. He told me a couple months ago that someone was tracking my posts to his blog. Googling my screen name & following the links. So I asked him if he could find out why, how & from where it originated. He couldn't but would tell me if they came back. Anyway, I then googled my own screen name & lo & behold up pops links to TBFVN. Interesting. Time passes & last week my buddy tells me that the stalker has hit again. This time he found out where it came from--now this is very interesting....the SEC! He says--"are you in trouble with questionable stock dealings?" Laughing, I reply--"no way!" But my little red warning light comes on to tell me that TBFVN must be involved--you know...D.C. & all. Now I know it has to be a woman too--who else would be remotely interested in my connection to the Bull? I'm thinking--how stupid is this chickie! Why would you cyber-stalk someone from your work computer anyway??? As it stands, I immediately call TBFVN & tell him that he needs to let the person know to cut the shit out. I know it's relatively harmless, but I think it's really uncool to pry like that into my life & for that matter, my friend's(not TBFVN)--& to leave a calling card! I may google a new guy & pull up court records for safety reasons but I don't go tracking his connections in cyberspace--that's just not right. In a twisted way--it's nice that someone was so interested in who I was that they felt the need to track me twice, but really! My now ex won't reveal who she is, but he assures me that he took care of it--I wonder--what threats did he make against her?
