House Revenge

Yup, this moving thing is stressing me out.  I think my house is out to get me.  It knows something's up--yeah, giving life to inanimate objects certainly questions my sanity but let me explain.  First my heat went up--tried to turn it on the week it was so freakin' cold & sure enough it just clicked--the basement crickets were louder--same thing happened last year too--ARGH!!  Frustrating!  But that ain't the worst of it.  Yesterday I decide to do laundry--not so remarkable to be sure & it definitely needed to be done--the kid had no khakis & the BF no socks sooooo.... Anyhoo, I step outside to talk to my dad as he dropped off the kid & when I go back inside I notice a little water on the floor in front of the washer--& then I look up & notice the gusher that is the washer hose--now backed up & spewing water all over the place!  After fixing that part of it, I then follow the huge puddle of water all the way across my laundry room--past the cat box with the litter that was kicked out turning to gray sludge, past the dog food bowl that is now floating away, over to the utility door that is NEVER used & where a virtual lake has formed.  I decide to sweep out the extra water through the door, & then clean up the rest, sanitize the tiled floor & call it a night.  Sounds easy right?  Not so fast!  Upon opening said utility door (which by the way may have only been opened once or twice the entire time I've owned this house), the hinges crack & separate from the door jamb & something I didn't notice as I attempt to jam the door back closed, a crack in the door proper.  This is an original flimsy wood door from a house built in '57.  It just will not close--no matter how hard my kid & I slam our bodies against the damn door--it just will not close!  Hence my thoughts that this crazy-ass house is out to get me!  After calling Xing Fu to beg him to help me out of this mess, I realize that this house selling operation ain't gonna be cheap.  I am sooooo far away from listing this house & we needed to list it last week in today's housing market.  Case in point: New steel door (so as to pass house inspection) $1250.  GACK!  Painting, possible new roof, possible new kitchen cabinets, de-cluttering...AGAIN, etc., etc., etc......the list is getting longer & longer--any volunteers?  Please? I'm begging.....yeah, I'm hearing those cellar crickets again...something else I'll need to get rid of...