Anthropological Fish Study

Scene: Contrived on-line dating local party/meet n' greet for ages 35-50

Characters: Me & M, various tubby over 50 balding dudes, 1 decent-looking sailor, 2 or three other seemingly decent guys

Act One: I really didn't have any expectations & I wasn't too disappointed. We arrive a half hour too early & hang out at the restaurant bar. It appears that another guy was too early too & was sitting listening to our convo while we had a glass of wine. My friend was talking about my various activities & how she thought that was great & I was talking about hoping that meeting a man like the sociopath wasn't the best I could get. It just sucks that we had so much in common & enjoyed together & yet, so far, no other guy has come close. Maybe at least I will meet some cool sailing buddies with all my racing activities. But, I digress. So we were eyeing the guy at the bar & figured he was a bit odd but not that bad looking so we were hoping that the other guys would be at least on par with him. We decide to mosey on over to the party....my anthropological study begins.

Act Two: We walk in & are immediately assaulted by the number of pudgy obviously-older-than-50 year old guys. There really was only ONE guy I would be remotely interested in & as it turns out he was a sailor from Annapolis. He seems to zero in on the two of us as well & the three of us have a nice conversation with him. We can't decide which of us he liked, but as he really was the only guy of interest, we walk over to a table to talk. As soon as we get there, we are surrounded by about 4-5 other men. They are at least within the appropriate age but do nothing for us on sight. My friend says one of the guys grew on her though but he didn't ask for her number. He DID tell us that sailordude was a player though. Seems that a lot of the guys who were there go all the time. They all know each other & their business. Like which chickie has a crush on which dude & how he doesn't like her but has a crush on her friend. It wasn't really my scene & my friend & I decide to leave. Sailordude walks us outside but also didn't ask for either of our numbers. Ah well....at least I learned that that kind of social singles party just ain't for me....just a bit discouraged though==like I said, I truly hope that balding & pudgy isn't the best I can get....they're all game fish--throw 'em back!

Perfectly Nice

Recently, back on the dating websites, I've met a few men & gone out on a few dates. They've mostly been real misses for various reasons but I remind myself that this could be an anthropological experiment if I choose to make this dating thing a "study". Most of the guys I've met recently & blogged about have been ok--not knock your socks off, but certainly "nice" in their own ways I suppose. Which bears some self-examination: the type of guy who has knocked the feet out from under me--most definitely they are bad boys--case in point is the sociopath. I am trying to rethink this a little, if we go back to the anthropological study aspect. I need to let the perfectly nice guys have a chance. I'm more than willing to write them off straight away because they don't immediately make my heart go pit-a-pat. And look where the bad boy has gotten me...

Which brings me to my date last night. It was very nice--he planned everything: dinner, music. Opened the door for me, made sure I was safely crossing the street (as I storm right into Annapolis traffic without batting an eye), picked up the tab everywhere, drove the entire night, never pressured for anything more than a goodnight hug & kiss, & was always quite attentive. I really liked him--we had great conversation. But there weren't those intense "I can't wait to rip off your clothes" feelings, just the "Hey, this is so nice not to have to think about anything, just enjoy". As my mom might say & has said before, "Keep an open mind. You aren't a teenager anymore. He may grow on you." And to top it all off--he is actually a man & not a Peter Pan--he takes care of his lady. Nice.