Circling Wagontrains

Well maybe not that many. But recently there have been a lot of guys hanging around me--not that it's a bad thing but none of them are remotely appropriate for various reasons. And it's SO frustrating as well. Of course I enjoy the attention but I am wondering about the "Look, but don't touch!" policy. I keep thinking it is a test--have I learned yet? Yes--and massively! I am not interested in anymore Karmic debt in my lovelife.

The breakdown of these men: the marrieds (no way! I am SOOO not interested in destroying other people's lives! Show me the separation docs & we'll talk.), the ones who don't know what they want or are a wee bit younger then I am, the rebounders, & the ones who are into me but are either: too neurotic or too blah (translation: too nice). Here we go again: frogs & no princes.

Yes, I have a spotted history regarding my past relationships (No comments from the peanut gallery--Sis, this means YOU) & I know that I must work out of the shadows into a clean bill of Karmic health--I hope this wagon circle brings it just a lil' bit closer....

The Plight of the "Nice Guy"

Mr. Big: Hey, have you got a light?
Carrie: I quit.
Mr. Big: Aw, we always used to share a cigarette together.
Carrie: We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.

From: Sex & The City

SIGH....

I was so excited about this weekend. Two new guys, two new opportunities to find "the one". The Saturday one was very young--too young for me. I knew it going in but I figured it could be fun. It was fun but he just wasn't a keeper--in the words of Steve Harvey--he was a sport fish--gotta throw 'em back.

I had built up guy No. 2 as a real potential--and perhaps he will become that--I'm not ruling him out just yet--but he is a "nice guy" & I struggle with them. I just find myself making comparisons that just muddy the waters. We went to Lake Roland & had a picnic lunch with a nice bottle of wine (7 Deadly Zins). We had very good convo albeit sometimes on the serious side. I think there was chemistry--it was just not so "in your face". I liked this guy but again there wasn't the zing & the instant chills up my back that I got before. And as a result I felt myself holding back with this all or nothing thinking. I realize that I need to allow someone to grow on me--maybe the slow burn may be better than the instant ignition & engulfing flames. So frustrating. So disappointing. And even more: my missing someone, shedding more tears I swore I was finished with. That's the part that sucks--I don't give men a chance & then I start making comparisons & they all come up wanting & then I get sad & allow the sociopath more power again. Guy No. 2 deserves a second shot & I will attempt to alter my misguided views & see if a little compromise makes things a lil' bit less disappointing. Obviously I think this guy is more of a keeper fish or I wouldn't have wasted so much blog space--so maybe that's a good thing afterall....

But...

It's finally spring--more like summer! I can wear my fun clothes. I am going racing most weekends which is awesome. And out there somewhere is the guy...naughty & nice.

Perfectly Nice

Recently, back on the dating websites, I've met a few men & gone out on a few dates. They've mostly been real misses for various reasons but I remind myself that this could be an anthropological experiment if I choose to make this dating thing a "study". Most of the guys I've met recently & blogged about have been ok--not knock your socks off, but certainly "nice" in their own ways I suppose. Which bears some self-examination: the type of guy who has knocked the feet out from under me--most definitely they are bad boys--case in point is the sociopath. I am trying to rethink this a little, if we go back to the anthropological study aspect. I need to let the perfectly nice guys have a chance. I'm more than willing to write them off straight away because they don't immediately make my heart go pit-a-pat. And look where the bad boy has gotten me...

Which brings me to my date last night. It was very nice--he planned everything: dinner, music. Opened the door for me, made sure I was safely crossing the street (as I storm right into Annapolis traffic without batting an eye), picked up the tab everywhere, drove the entire night, never pressured for anything more than a goodnight hug & kiss, & was always quite attentive. I really liked him--we had great conversation. But there weren't those intense "I can't wait to rip off your clothes" feelings, just the "Hey, this is so nice not to have to think about anything, just enjoy". As my mom might say & has said before, "Keep an open mind. You aren't a teenager anymore. He may grow on you." And to top it all off--he is actually a man & not a Peter Pan--he takes care of his lady. Nice.