Xmas for Singles

“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.” --He's Just Not That Into You

Despite it being Christmas & all that it entails (& I'm not even Christian...), I was a busy woman. And yes, the quote above tends to be true--not necessarily the rejection, although that has happened, but not too much recently. But in terms of rejection, what I have found is that if I'm doing the rejecting I tend not to answer those calls, texts, emails, etc., & hopefully the guy gets the picture (most do, some get a bit cyber-stalkery on occasion) & if I'm the one being rejected I just never get called again. Dude who dropped at least $200 last Friday is a no-call, speaking of not being interested, but neither was I so no harm, no foul. Still, very busy in portal-ville over the holiday.

Which begins the Jewish Christmas. What do you do when your kid is with the former in-law's family, your family is not doing anything, & you do not currently have a significant other? Movies & Chinese food on Christmas! Christmas Eve was with one of my good buddies, my Zen Cyclist, and we had sushi & saw Avatar 3-D. We always have a blast together & I can usually pick his brain about male behavior, & my situations. He can be a good source of info--kinda like Alex in the above-mentioned movie. He's recently remarried to a woman who is currently working in India so he was "single" as well. I wasn't disappointed--good insights always.

Last year I had this big cocktail party I went to with the Bull, this year I didn't go--it actually wasn't because I didn't have a date, that really didn't bother me, it was because my friend Aa had no one at all to hang with over Christmas & I felt bad for her. I am grateful because at least I had choices & she did not--it depressed me so I wanted to be a good friend. We did the double feature movie thingy--saw Up in the Air & then saw Sherlock Holmes. I haven't been to this many movies in ages! Up in the Air was good & reminded me quite a bit of one of my friends--similar parallels...I'm sure if he sees it, he'll get the similarities right away. Sherlock Holmes was a fun "date" movie in my opinion--good stuff for the guys & stuff for the chickies as well.

Then, finally, I made Mole for the first time. I had been gathering the ingredients for the past week & kept trying to find 1) a block of time cuz it takes FOREVER to make, & 2) a relatively good reason to make it. Yesterday was as good as it would get--of course aided by the fact that SM joined me for dinner. I must say that my Mole was quite spectacular--those layers of flavors were right there, including the subtle chocolate under all. The 3 hours it took to construct the Mole sauce was worth it for sure & paired with the chicken tenderloins--heaven--even my kid was awed. Had a nice Zin with it that didn't overpower. I even had plantains that I doctored up for a themed dessert...a very nice night.

So despite being single at Xmas, I was in a good place. Happy Christmas to all--
Now I have to make it through New Year's...

if he's sleeping with another woman......

"But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up."

"You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

--Gigi from He's Just Not That Into You



One of my girlfriends took me to see this movie today against her better judgement. The quotes above represent some of the things I identified with when I heard them. The first one because of the future. The second one because that's how I believe things are for the Bull. I wanted to see it because not only had I read the book shortly after my divorce, but I really wanted to see what situations would arise. I did not get upset, I did not cry, although I've done a lot of that this past week, I just realized that what's happened to me is part of the hope. It is a process & I will rise from the ashes again.

My girlfriends have been amazing this week & weekend. Checking up on me, occupying my time, wine tasting of course, allowing me to cry & not saying "I told you so." Although most of them did say that they never trusted him. People may ask why I'd cry with the situation being the way it was. I think I mourn the loss but also I think about how so many lives were affected by this man's reckless approach to being in a relationship(s). I had been receiving texts from him about taking down this blog--but one of the last ones he sent said the following: "So now you've won." How have I won? Against everyone's advice to have no contact with him, I sent the answer & what I truly believe: "We all lost....."