On-line Dating Trials & Tribulations

Someone asked me recently (I think it was Xing Fu--probably was..), if I remembered all of my 50 first dates.  I thought about a little bit--and I think I remember most of them--I have a certain fondness for them all...a slight nostalgia if you will.  Do I miss it?  Mebbe a teensy, tinesy, little bit.  But so little that I hardly miss it.  It was a hugely interesting time in my life--not always all that fun, mind you, but most definitely, interesting.  In fact, a guy I think I went out with way, way, back circa 2006 or 2007, tried to friend me on Facebook recently.  Ewww. Most of the dudes were nice--I think out of all of the dates I've been on there were only a few total bombs.  Not a bad track record. And most of those dates were from on-line dating sites.  

I remember way back when in my college days reading the ISO adds & how anyone who did the on-line dating thing was desperate.  How that perspective has shifted.  I think I never would have met the breadth of guys that I did if not for the computer--never would have happened prior to the popularity of the online sites--I think I hit it at the right time--seemed to start to be a very acceptable vehicle to meet guys around the time of my divorce--2005. Quite sure I wouldn't have gone out as much either.  So that certainly is one positive for the online thing--perhaps the distance has skewed my perspective...

Anyway, I was inspired to write this post because I was reading a Facebook friend's own online trials via her wall posts & she posted this afternoon "Call me old school, but when a guy is trying to date me, I still like to talk on phone before a first date, not just texting! WTF LOL"  I think a phone conversation can be a good thing--gives an opportunity to see what you're getting into so to speak, but I got to the point that if all the dude did was talk or text & never actually asked me out, then that was a supreme waste of my time.  So cutting back on the phone or texting chatter made a lot of sense to me--just cut to the chase, dammit!!  I got to the point where I would say in an online correspondence, "Not much into chatting on the phone, more interested in meeting face-to-face & seeing if there's a connection."  Most guys appreciated that--if you ain't a good fit, better to find out real quick then to have planned your entire life together out via texts & emails & phone convos--that happened to me a few times--eventually I got smart about it.  Cus once you met & there was no connection, well, what are you left with?  Hours & hours of wasted time--being in my 40's --not interested in wasting that kind of time.   I wanna get to the good stuff!  Unfortunately for my online life there wasn't much beyond the first meeting.  Ah well. 

But I still insist that online is a great way to meet folk.  I certainly had those highs (Amsterdam) & lows (car break-down after Cirque de Soleil).  But in my case it was really "old school"--actually away from my puter--that was ultimately successful for me.  Xing Fu once said that this online dating thing was kinda scary--this was after I sent him the email from a dude on Match.com who let me know how much he liked my earrings.  Yeah, scary but also other-worldly.  I look back on it now & it's surreal.