Chicago Bound

Off to Chicago to visit my sis & her family.  Fun times, especially because Xing Fu is coming too--our first plane trip together!  Uh huh, we're getting away from it all--right to 40 degree weather!  WooHoo!  This was supposed to be a trip taken earlier in the season so we could go sailing with my sis & her husband but as usual, timing is everything...even so, looking forward to a weekend with my sis in her stomping grounds & time away with my guy.  I have mentioned in the past how important I think getting away as a couple is important--often we've gone to the beach together for a weekend--this is a bit of a departure for us--heh--I think a good one.  I often think that we just don't have a lot of "us" time & I feel it is vitally important to build that in on occasion.  I sent an  email to Xing Fu after we'd had a little back & forth about scheduling.  It is truly what I feel:


"we already have such limited time during the week & even some weekends that it is often a press to simply have "us" time.  One reason that this weekend will be nice for that--I am a very firm believer that a successful relationship must have times where the focus is solely on the relationship & very little else if at all possible."

And while I'm away it will be my 3rd year "blogoversary"--hopefully I will get a chance to send a message out into the blogosphere from Chi-town.

Ants & Birds

It's a birdhouse around here!  Heat has been out & I've been reluctant to call anyone--I'm in denial, damn it!  I am SO NOT interested in the change in season to that nasty one we call...shhhhh....autumn....Oh god, I said it....GACK!!  It means the definite end is in sight...sniff....sailing season will be over...sniff, sniff.

But I caved from BF & child pressure & called the HVAC guys to come have a look-see at my furnace which wasn't working. And yes, once again, Momma Nature is lovin' my house--first it was ants in the A/C & now it's birds in the furnace--I didn't stick around to see two dessicated birds being pulled out of the pipe---eeewwww...

But I still gotta believe it's the house planning revenge on me for even contemplating putting it up for sale... 

Ah, fun times but at least I'm warm.

Risk Worth Taking

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I wanna come too
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

--"Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop"  Landon Pigg

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day starting the real work of getting ready for the move.  My good friend Merryfish helped me with the very arduous task of sorting years of stuff--Good Will, Keep, or Toss.  I was very stressed by the ordeal but we managed to clean out the dining room completely save for the pile of things in the corner that I will box & put in the crawl space.  We also put a sizable dent in the kitchen too.  During the entire time though I felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of what I must do in the next month or two.  But she was awesome--kept me focused, coaxed me through my emotional upheaval with a level-headed calm that was spectacular to see.  You go girl!  I must say that it sure was nice cooking pumpkin pancakes this morning & actually have the space in my kitchen to do it...

But this whole process is scary--when we do buy this house together, what happens if it doesn't work out?  I am out of a house--my house--the one I bought all by myself--it ain't much but it's all I've got....one of Xing Fu's children pointed out a similar concern--what if they have go through a separation again?  What about my son who's had almost 2 years to build a great relationship with Xing Fu?  Yes, he hasn't dealt with real separation since he was 7 so it isn't as fresh as it is for Xing Fu's children, but what if? What if?  But, as Xing Fu pointed out--we cannot live life as what if it doesn't work. 

As we wandered through the corn maze & then the pumpkin patch looking for the just right pumpkins to carve, as we made dinner & carved the pumpkins, lit them, & put them outside to see how we did, I knew that this was no risk--it was right where I needed to be.  It is a risk worth taking.

ACK!

I am just so stressed & anxious about the house thing--we have begun.  The list is just so long & I'm feeling quite overwhelmed by the whole thing.  But first things first, de-clutter. 

Last night, Xing Fu & I tackled the crawl space under the house.  There were years of stuff in there--books, papers, stuff from my ex--two bar stools he picked up off a Baltimore street over 15 years ago...it was hard to just toss it aside (not the bar stools).  No, I don't want to keep any of it--but it represents my history--kinda tough to sift through it all.  Getting all that stuff out will leave room to box up the stuff upstairs so that the house can be "staged" to sell--kinda like living in a hotel room for a few months.  When we leave this house, a chapter of my life will definitely close & that's kinda scary.  

We're all full of talk like, "When we have a house together such & such will happen" or "When we live together this is going to be how things will be...", etc.  Positively nerve-wracking! And exciting.  I know my kid is getting more interested as he sees things being moved out--he's talking about wanting to have a bigger space & more privacy.  He has also said that he'll miss the only home he's known--


But everything in the crawl space except my stuffed animals "Snuggles" is going to the dump or to Good Will.  Especially the bar stools--as I throw them onto the metal scrap heap I will be thinking that I am definitely happy that chapter of hoarding husbands is closed!

Boyfriend, Defined?

As my 3rd "Blogoversary" looms nearer, I often take some time to reflect how things have changed from year to year & of course this one is no different.  So as I have been thinking back & how when I first started this blog it was all about the myriad of frogs that I had kissed, was kissing, & was going to kiss, I fell across this article in the lofty rag, of all places, The New York Times.  Finding love can be frustrating, discouraging, interesting, & sometimes pretty fun, but it is difficult for all ages as this particular essay by Marguerite Fields shows.  It was published in 2008 (I wonder what has since happened to its author--has she found "the one"?).  Anyway, it wants to target college students or recent entrants into the "adult" world, but I think it applies to all of us enchanted frog-seekers newly minted or not:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/fashion/04love.html?pagewanted=all 

 

Bagels

I wanna make you happy. 
I wanna make you feel alive.
Let me make you happy.
I wanna make you feel alive at night.

--The KOOKS "Junk of the Heart "

Mornings are usually a little nuts now that we have to get up & moving earlier so I can make sure that I get my kid to school & get myself to work on time....which I so hope will change once we move.

Every morning that Xing Fu is at the house he seems to be in charge of breakfast--nothing huge, usually a half a bagel but he goes into the kitchen & toasts them up & meticulously spreads something on them for us.  Ok, not such a big deal but in a way it is--I could do it some days or we could just get something on the road.  But he does it every morning.  I said once before that it was the little things--and this is one example.  I told him that I appreciated his efforts especially as we're rushing out the door--not taking these little things for granted.  The little things are the glue--recognizing them--important.

House Revenge

Yup, this moving thing is stressing me out.  I think my house is out to get me.  It knows something's up--yeah, giving life to inanimate objects certainly questions my sanity but let me explain.  First my heat went up--tried to turn it on the week it was so freakin' cold & sure enough it just clicked--the basement crickets were louder--same thing happened last year too--ARGH!!  Frustrating!  But that ain't the worst of it.  Yesterday I decide to do laundry--not so remarkable to be sure & it definitely needed to be done--the kid had no khakis & the BF no socks sooooo.... Anyhoo, I step outside to talk to my dad as he dropped off the kid & when I go back inside I notice a little water on the floor in front of the washer--& then I look up & notice the gusher that is the washer hose--now backed up & spewing water all over the place!  After fixing that part of it, I then follow the huge puddle of water all the way across my laundry room--past the cat box with the litter that was kicked out turning to gray sludge, past the dog food bowl that is now floating away, over to the utility door that is NEVER used & where a virtual lake has formed.  I decide to sweep out the extra water through the door, & then clean up the rest, sanitize the tiled floor & call it a night.  Sounds easy right?  Not so fast!  Upon opening said utility door (which by the way may have only been opened once or twice the entire time I've owned this house), the hinges crack & separate from the door jamb & something I didn't notice as I attempt to jam the door back closed, a crack in the door proper.  This is an original flimsy wood door from a house built in '57.  It just will not close--no matter how hard my kid & I slam our bodies against the damn door--it just will not close!  Hence my thoughts that this crazy-ass house is out to get me!  After calling Xing Fu to beg him to help me out of this mess, I realize that this house selling operation ain't gonna be cheap.  I am sooooo far away from listing this house & we needed to list it last week in today's housing market.  Case in point: New steel door (so as to pass house inspection) $1250.  GACK!  Painting, possible new roof, possible new kitchen cabinets, de-cluttering...AGAIN, etc., etc., etc......the list is getting longer & longer--any volunteers?  Please? I'm begging.....yeah, I'm hearing those cellar crickets again...something else I'll need to get rid of...