Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Cyber-Stalking 101--boyfriend style

So welcome to my blog--if only for my own cathartic need & if no one reads this, at least I know I have a place to spill my guts. Before I get to my cyber-stalker let me just give a little background on why I started this running dialogue of the trials of modern single-mom dating.

I have been on at least 50 first dates (most probably more) & truth be told it gets mighty frustrating out there. Most of these dates have come from my online antics & for the most part have proven that there are A LOT of men out there. Insert the but.... & you fill in your own blank. Unfortunately those men have been just so wrong--except for a recent one--I'll call him The Bull from Van Ness (TBFVN) (here's where the story title comes in).

We met online this past summer & it was a rather instantaneous attraction--musical tastes, check, sailing, check, hot sex, check, check, check....oops--intelligence, quirky world-view...my list could go on. But as all really great things often go as being too good to be true--so did he--as my boyfriend & rather recently(OUCH). You know the old commitment issue--so I fall prey.

However, he seems to have a bit of a penchant for fucked-up former girlfriends. (I like to think that I was the first relatively normal one) but I digress. I've listened to him have a conversation with one such chickie & it is scary what I found out--something to do with stolen credit cards, cash & a DUI. And after 2 years he still has some of her shit stashed away....do I need to say hmmmmm? Anyway the convo was a bit disturbing: threats that if she doesn't make arrangements to pick the stuff up, he'll tell her son what a fucked-up liar she is, etc. I won't say how he has access to her son's info because that'd be too revealing here, suffice it to say-he most definitely could locate him. Anyway, he seems to have collected a few ones like that, which brings me to the cyber-shit.

One of my friends has a blog that I follow pretty closely--check out the list--there it is. He told me a couple months ago that someone was tracking my posts to his blog. Googling my screen name & following the links. So I asked him if he could find out why, how & from where it originated. He couldn't but would tell me if they came back. Anyway, I then googled my own screen name & lo & behold up pops links to TBFVN. Interesting. Time passes & last week my buddy tells me that the stalker has hit again. This time he found out where it came from--now this is very interesting....the SEC! He says--"are you in trouble with questionable stock dealings?" Laughing, I reply--"no way!" But my little red warning light comes on to tell me that TBFVN must be involved--you know...D.C. & all. Now I know it has to be a woman too--who else would be remotely interested in my connection to the Bull? I'm thinking--how stupid is this chickie! Why would you cyber-stalk someone from your work computer anyway??? As it stands, I immediately call TBFVN & tell him that he needs to let the person know to cut the shit out. I know it's relatively harmless, but I think it's really uncool to pry like that into my life & for that matter, my friend's(not TBFVN)--& to leave a calling card! I may google a new guy & pull up court records for safety reasons but I don't go tracking his connections in cyberspace--that's just not right. In a twisted way--it's nice that someone was so interested in who I was that they felt the need to track me twice, but really! My now ex won't reveal who she is, but he assures me that he took care of it--I wonder--what threats did he make against her?

3 comments:

baltimorediary said...

:::breaking a bottle of champagne across the Comment Bow:::

My advice about the ex-GF's stuff stands, despite the change in your status with him: eBay. 'nuff said.

Also, to be fair, we don't know that she did it twice. We know that there were two lookups done but we only bothered to look more deeply into the second one. There could easily be more than one stalker in this story. Or does that idea make you uncomfortable?

dena said...

I wish I was worthy of a little stalking...might add some excitement to my uber normal (aka boring) life.

Not stalking...just following the recommendation of the baltimorediary. ;)

Michele said...

Great blogging for a blog virgin. If TVNB has psycho exes...it kinda makes you wonder about him...Threatening to tell ex's son about her antics is just so not cool.