Busy, busy...this house thing is so frustrating. All I want to do is get this damn house listed & all I seem to be able to do is find more & more problems. I have a contractor who is working on the house right now & I've been unable to take a shower in my bathroom as he's been up to his elbows in tile, pipes & drywall. And it is still not done. After getting everything fixed, drywall replaced, tiles replaced, grout & caulk...there's no water pressure! So now he'll need to investigate this problem & of course this issue will lead to another. And the front hallway is torn up & soon the kitchen floor will be as well. And painting, and buffing & sanding the hardwood floors & steps, and do I get a new vanity for the bathroom? Oh, and did I mention the new roof? Xing Fu reminds me that it is an old house & I should expect these issues, but...but...
And I have a timeline--I want to have this house ready to list at the end of February & I am hoping to be moving by April. Maybe my thinking is pie-in-the-sky but I just want to get this done & get a move on before the summer whirlwind hits. Yes, part of this is moving on, moving out, & my impatience to get there & close a chapter in my life that my current house represents. But I know it takes time but I really wish things in this frickin' house would stop breaking!!
Today marked the first day back to work for me & of course as much as I do enjoy working for BCPS(S), it is always an adventure when I return--what works & mostly what doesn't work & who to call to get it to work the fastest. And all the staff training--which bars me from the real work at hand--setting up my office for the new school year. We will get there.
Adieu to summer & it was a deeply amazing one on many, many levels--much has been chronicled here of course but much has not. In some ways I wish I could write here about those situations but in the interest of privacy I cannot. I will say however, that those situations & individuals create a sense of black-out--I am in the shadows & only briefly peep through the curtains. I know someday that will change but in the meantime it is hugely frustrating, but I feel that if handled correctly the reward will far outweigh my current sense of fringe dwelling & the disappointment that accompanies it. We will get there.
This weekend was a deeply emotional one for Xing Fu & I--wasn't necessarily supposed to be, but that's how it turned out. I think in some ways there was a cosmic shift as it were--this is no longer just a short-term feeling(not that it ever was), but now we've really moved into the LTR. So there are new feelings to be explored that have popped out for various reasons. On Saturday morning we hit a real nerve--but, because we've started out talking about how we feel & being honest with one another, we were able to openly explore it--look at all angles & perhaps figure out root causes without allowing the hurt to creep in & muddy things up--I must admit that it was quite difficult to do & it takes a real trust in the other person to be able to navigate those swirling eddies & cat paws. Even so, we had a boat to catch--practicing for Annapolis Race Week & we needed to get down to Galesville. On the way we continued our exploration & I think we were able to figure it out although I still felt rather unsettled until about halfway through the day. As we came to some resolution a very particular song began to play on XM--the one I posted over the weekend (Maybe I'm Amazed)--incredibly appropriate for what we had been discussing--amazing how these things work--and in particular between the two of us. Kinda blows my mind. Anyhoo, went out on the boat & got very busy with the practice plus I was certainly distracted by the presence of Seamus who is joining us as crew for this race. This is the first time that Xing Fu & he had really met face to face & had to negotiate their individual relationships with me--and I'm happy to say that it seems to be working out well...I certainly love the attention & it is a lot of fun--Seamus is very funny & quite the character. Here is an example where the sailing community is a small one. The day passed & I asked Xing Fu if he was feeling better about things--we both were & as I said--there was that almost tangible shift in my head. I'm not saying that those feelings won't crop up again, but I think we'll recognize them & be able to tackle them a bit more easily in the future. We will get there.
Sunday was another milestone of a sort(we seem to mark these quite a lot), we spent the day in a rather domestic shade--shopping for the week, fixing some stuff in my house, mundane stuff--could be considered rather boring but as always we both enjoyed the simplicity. Bodes well for the future & in the true sense of moving forward & thinking about the future--We are getting there.
What is it with some men?
Recently I really haven't been dabbling too much in the online dating pool--I guess I was taking a break for a while & I think I've been rather consumed with my current crop of "friends" so there really didn't seem any point. But occasionally I like to pop back in & see what's out there--if anything.
At first, when I was just dipping my toes back into this whole dating process, the only activity I did was the online thingy & as I've said there were a lot of first & only first dates. Recently I've expanded my horizons to include other venues for finding men. As a result I can now make a basic comparison. All this being motivated by some online activity recently--I'll get to that in a bit. So I find that online seems to follow a certain pattern--it feels very contrived & somewhat unnatural. Here is the progression of sorts:
Guy contacts you via email. You check out his profile & decide if 1) he's at least used spell-check & capitalizes all his proper nouns, 2) he actually has something to say beyond, "I'm looking for my soul mate...I think communication is the key to a deep relationship...blah, blah, blah...", & 3) he's at least cute in his pictures. If he passes those parameters then a response may be warranted. Next comes the emails of introduction--stuff like, "Hey! Loved your smile!(I get that a lot), or "liked your top ten list" (yup, my profile contains a Letterman-like top 10). Finally, after a few emails, phone numbers are exchanged. Now here's where it gets dicey sometimes. More on that in a bit. So if there's a couple decent convos on the phone & you seem to have at least a few things to say to one another apart from, "what's your job, etc.?", then meeting for a brief first date is the norm. Usually my first dates have been anything but the norm--ah well. But that is the general gist of online dating.
I have to say that I feel like I've been far more successful when meeting people doing other activities & then cultivating a friendship. The men that I am currently involved with, in one way or another, I've seen far more than once. We may not go on dates but we do things together (not that, per se...all y'all need to get your minds out of the collective gutter!) My point being that I like the old fashioned way of meeting--it seems a bit more successful...who knows...anyway, that brings me back to the recent stuff.
The online dating seems to bring out the needy in some men. The newest guy that I'm actually going to meet soon sends me a ton of texts, & has called me everyday. Sigh--When we've talked on the phone--strike that--when he's talked on the phone, we have had nice discussions. But the constant barrage of texts, etc. is a bit much--we haven't even met yet! That's what I mean--what is it with some men? No, I don't like being ignored, & I do enjoy receiving texts from my men regularly, but I know them & we have fun stuff to say to each other, pictures to send, etc., etc. Sad thing is, I tend not to respond to this guy's texts & often don't pick up the phone when he calls. So not my usual behavior--any one of my friends knows that my phone is attached to my hip, & I usually respond quite promptly unless there really is something I can't interrupt or I'm at TKD, sailing, whatever. Why so blase? Not too sure--I think it does have something to do with being heavily pursued before even meeting--makes me want to run right in the opposite direction & already casts a pall over our initial meeting. Bleh! So we'll see--will he join the ranks of the 50 first dates or will he pass go & collect a 2nd date with me?
