Prove It!

by Shel Silverstein

It's scary that Thanksgiving is so near--seems like yesterday I was hiking out during a windward leg of the Screwpile Regatta.  Sigh....I think this weekend may be the last sail of the season.  As we talk about all of the things that we are grateful for & give our thanks for family, friends, etc.,  during the season, I think this little piece of advice fits right in. I keep coming across things in my travels that strike me as important & good ideas to try.  Xing Fu is a good sport because I keep trotting out activities & he very willingly jumps right in.  I haven't run this one by him yet, but I think he'll give it a go.  

Anyway, I was reading Good Housekeeping (I know, I know, me??  Good Housekeeping???),  and inside there is a monthly advice column called "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin.  It's all about finding your happiness--through various thoughts, actions, with yourself, family, etc.  I usually find a few good tidbits in it--in fact, may have written something from it before, but I was struck by this one.  Her happiness thought for December is: 

Hug more, kiss more, touch more.  These actions take no extra time, energy, or money, but they make a big difference.

 http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/wellness/hugs-and-kisses
She goes on to include this advice for greeting family warmly when they come home or making sure to bid farewell also.  This builds connectedness, creates feelings of worth & meaning, & shows that family members are cherished.  I like this & I want to try it.  But also I like what she says about her "spiritual master" St. Therese of Lisieux.  St. Therese said, "It isn't enough to love; we must prove it."  We often forget to show the people we love that we love them.  Saying "I love you" is nice to be sure, but hugging, touching, going out of our way to welcome someone home is a simple way to prove love.  According to Gretchen Rubin these are "proofs of love."  I couldn't agree more.  In fact, I often write about the little things--here's another one that I hope becomes a big habit.

Pucker Up

A bit of a follow-up post from the quirky kissing one from a bit ago.  I read an interesting article in Redbook the other day that got me thinking--yeah, bad sign.  It was entitled The Kissing Project and pointed out some interesting facts.  One that struck me the most was that kissing & hand-holding are usually the first to go in a LTR.  How depressing!  And upon reflection I do realize that kissing does dwindle--at least it did with my ex-husband--mebbe a smooch in the morning--mebbe days without a peck at all.  Most likely had to do with the fact that I didn't like him too much and the thought of swapping spit at that point disgusted me...

The article points out also how men & women respond to kissing--men to spread testosterone & for both generating the feel-good hormones of oxytocin & endorphins--oxytocin is that infamous "bonding" hormone.  So isn't it interesting that when a couple is "bonded"  they actually stop hormonal bonding when they stop kissing.  Couples seeking therapy are sometimes counseled to kiss more--apparently the research indicates that it can help.  And so the article lists a few experiments.  I looked at each one & compared to what Xing Fu & I do.  

First & foremost--we are pretty touchy-feely anyway and have no problem smooching a lot.  But the one "experiment" that stuck out was actually one that I had absolutely no need to even consider (the other ones, yeah, could be interesting), but this one suggested making over his kissing style.  The problem I have with that is if you are reading this as a married couple or even in a LTR, it would totally suck if you've been dealing with a bad kisser for this long & it hadn't occurred to you to fix this a waaay long time ago...(apparently some men love the tongue thrust & swirl to the point of dripping...eeewww).

Here's the link if anyone would like to read it themselves:
http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/kissing-tips

Pucker up!

10 Quirky Facts About Kissing

By Laura Schaefer

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all — and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” small talk, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying liplock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.

4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.

5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.

6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.

7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running. 

 

8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.

9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.

10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate!

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time. --From Match.com