Which brings us to Xing Fu. We were also friends first and for quite some time. That is not to say that my initial attraction to him wasn't there--it was--I asked about him soon after I met him. But, because he was married, & I have a rule--NO MARRIED MEN, there was no way anything was going to happen & therefore I was perfectly happy to be platonic sailing friends. But certainly I have to admit that the sex thing, or at least the attraction thing, was there to even initiate a desire to be friends--so that is of note.
An aside, Xing Fu had also been friends with another female sailing friend & had shared a room with her during a regatta weekend one year. Purely platonic & was never cause for alarm as both of them were "off the market" as well. And accordingly, not everyone is a slave to their baser instincts anyway. On Slate there is reference to a Dear Prudence letter with a similar set of circumstances. Essentially, a woman writes in that her boyfriend & his platonic female friend are going share a hotel room during a conference. Problem was, the writer didn't want that to happen because she suspected a little hanky-panky might happen. People just suspect that something will happen even if there's nothing to fear--kinda sucks because it's not always about that. Referenced here: scroll down to see the letterhttp://www.slate.com/id/2254228/
Anyway, I digress. With regard to Xing Fu, I would have been perfectly happy to continue as was--we certainly had much in common to be "cross-sex" friends & I was happy with that, even if I did wonder as time went on & he was a perfect gentleman in every way. But, as circumstances changed, so did our platonic friendship--so there it is...just like in Hollywood. And this just friends thingy--well, I'm on the fence there.