Thursday, September 29, 2011

Messy Complexity

"To entrust another with your heart means revealing your humanity in all its messy complexity & vulnerability." --Rosemary Mahoney

We are definitely taking a huge risk here--a scary one--I touched on it briefly last post when I said that I hadn't lived with anyone but my child since '04.   It's not going to happen straight away--lots of stuff to work out but we are stepping out into the abyss.  But here I am at this point in my life & even though we have a ton more responsibility now then when we were just starting into our "adult" lives, I know this is the right move with the right person.  

Reaffirmed by a simple action tonight before Xing Fu went to bed. Last night I spent the evening with him in the ER--he has a history of having kidney stones & last night was my indoctrination into that terribly painful experience.  He's fine but still recovering a bit & that's where tonight's story picks up.   On the nights that we aren't together he usually calls me before turning in.  I look forward to it--it's like a nice warm blanket on a cold night right before I go to sleep kind of feeling.  This afternoon he called me early & said that he wasn't going to call me later.  I mentioned to him that I look forward to the calls right before bed & would he mind calling to say good night.  His reply was "we'll see."  I was a bit disappointed but knew he was tired & wanted to go to sleep early.  Around 9:45 my phone rings.  What is so wonderful about that is he wants to make me happy--I treasure that so much.  I thanked him & told him how much I appreciated that he wants to please me.  So worth the risk.

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