Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Friday, August 16, 2013

Loneliness & Social Media

So I was sitting here on Monday scratching my head for a new blog post to share with the world & it kinda fell in my lap via my son.  He has recently joined the blogging fray--he writes about his religious views or rather, his lack of religion.  Which is ok--we are not a religious family by any stretch of the imagination but I would say that we ascribe to a "culturally Jewish" mindset & I think my son would agree with that statement.  But his blog or his religious views are not the point of this post but rather a video that he posted on his blog.  If any are interested here is a link to his blog: http://reasonoverdogma.blogspot.com/

Anyway, my son posted this video from vimeo regarding the new "loneliness" that has been brought about by all of our electronics & social media addictions. Here is a link:  http://vimeo.com/70534716
To some degree I agree with the video but I also dissent.  I happen to love social media & utilize it readily--blogging anyone?  I have found that while yes, 320 of my nearest & dearest are my friends on facebook, it doesn't stop me from having real social interactions with those who count the most (I just insulted half of my friends on FB).  In some ways I feel that social media enhances my relationships. For example, if I posted some beach pics from instagram on facebook, checked in on foursquare at Surf Bagel, etc., invariably when I see a friend they say something like, "I saw your vacay pics on facebook & it looks like you guys had a good time.  I've been meaning to go to Surf Bagel when I'm in Lewes. Is it really that good?"  (btw, Surf Bagel really IS that good) So, a lot of times my posts help create a face-to-face conversation. Additionally, social media has brought me back in touch with some folk that I haven't seen in years--just recently a visit from one of my college friends from Michigan--inspiring a real conversation & interaction. We went to Boordy Vineyards to enjoy a wine tasting of great Maryland Wines, & yeah, I checked in on foursquare, & took a pic for instagram, but again, without my electronics, all of that may not have happened. And, truth be told, I tend to use facebook as picture storage & organization--it is a great place to put pictures & they are organized in a handy-dandy timeline!  Honestly, like everything else, I feel there is a middle ground.  

Very good points are to be made in the video.  Sometimes, during the course of our vacation at the beach, I would look around & EVERYONE was on some sort of electronic device.  People may have been sitting next to one another on the couch, but each person was in their own little world: I was watching old Merry Melodies on my ipad, my kid was playing a video game on his laptop across from me, his best friend was reading a book on his kindle, & one of my stepdaughters was watching netflix on her iphone.  It didn't happen often, & at one point all 10 of us crammed around the cocktail table in the living room to play Cards Against Humanity--very interactive, as well as Snorta!, & Cranium, so it wasn't ALL isolation....like I said--a happy medium.  

One final thought--as the video points out, texts, tweets, emails, blog posts, etc., can most definitely be edited before posting them while a real conversation cannot.  I think that online dating suffers from this phenomenon. (Yup, gotta bring this back to the overarching theme of this blog) Your online profile is not the real you & while I think online dating has helped so many people connect that probably would not have, I am very happy that Xing Fu & I actually connected the old fashioned way--he knew the real me & not some hyped up profile of what I wanted others to believe was me.  My advice to online daters is this: Be wary of the profiles that you see--don't allow ongoing back & forth emails, insist on having that real conversation in person very quickly--it really is like meeting someone in a bar for the first time--you never emailed or texted for hours before you met that dude at the grocery store--it was a totally random occurrence. If the guy is willing to meet you very soon after a few emails or a phone conversation at a Starbucks for a "mini-date", then that is a good thing.  Do it!  I did a lot of that for my 50 first dates.  I recently read that what I encountered as an online dater is not as rare as had I thought--many people have 1 or 2 first dates & move on--social media & online dating sites can eventually help you to find the right guy. But don't allow the search or the long drawn out online courtship that eventually goes nowhere create the loneliness & isolation that the video discusses.  Go out & live! I'm also very interested in what others think of the video--comments please!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

We Are WAAAAY Too Old For That!


Facebook is certainly an interesting phenomenom. Everybody loves to talk about how they've reconnected with high school friends, etc. & I'm no exception.  I had occasion today to have coffee with my "big sister" from Alpha Chi Omega--we haven't seen each other really since we left school & here we were having a coffee & talking about our lives as single women--she's recently separated.  It was wonderful to see her--she looks amazing!  And the great part about it is that we really don't live too far apart so future face-to-face meetings will certainly happen.  That is the great part about Facebook.  Unfortunately I have also witnessed the seamy underbelly of Facebook as well.

Another friend of mine is currently dealing with a nasty situation.  What blows me away is that these 40+ year old women are acting like classroom bullies!  She is being threatened & bullied by other women who have kids & families, etc. and yet feel justified in posting things like "Don't worry, -----, I've got your back--I'll pull her scalp off, &....".  WTF???!!!   And the woman who started the thread is encouraging others by saying things like, "Hey, ----, what ya' got?"  Egging others to post threatening stuff too!  How old are we?  Come on!  Grow the FUCK up!!  Obviously these women have nothing better to do with their lives than to make an incredibly funny & kind woman feel threatened that they'll show up at her house and make real what they say.  Frankly, I'm disgusted...these women have children who themselves have FB accounts--what are they modeling?  It is very scary....


Which brings me to my final point--I am taking this forum to publicly say how lucky I am for my BFFs.  They are amazing & vivacious women (I know I've said this before, but the above situation just reminds me how much I do appreciate them) who have stood by my side without question.  We had so much fun at our winetasting yesterday--it was just us, which hasn't always been the case, & we were in rare form.  Laughing uproariously at a business card from a winemaker that was laden with sexual inuendo--"quivering, bare skin bathed in the full moonlight..."  Just enjoying each other....Facebook can never supply that--glad that we put FB aside so we can be out in the world living great lives!