Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Supply and Demand

Are Dating economics like Voodoo economics?

I've been thinking about my last post & the article that I reprinted.  It makes a lot of sense regarding the concept of economics & love.  It is a valid idea--particularly as a 40 year old single/divorced woman.  Lori Gottlieb has talked about it--it's not settling but it is looking for the diamonds in the rough perhaps.  What I mean here is that as single women age there is an increased supply but lower demand.  And as men age, the supply is lower because by their 40's "normal" men are either married, in a relationship, or players (read: jaded, cheater, the Bull, etc.).  
Or there's something wrong with them.  I also think that men do not like being single & seek to rectify that situation quickly if they find themselves that way, so catch 'em while you can or miss the opportunity.  Women stay single longer, either after divorce or having never been married.  I may piss off a lot of folks, & I certainly have little to back up my theories other than what I observe around me & the things I've been reading, but it is a hell of a lot tougher to be single & 40 plus.  Even the idea of cougars--a lot of times portrayed as the desperate, predatory 50 plus woman...sucks.  And what this sometimes translates as, similarly to college full of women & less men, is men behaving badly & being allowed to act that way--because otherwise you don't have a boyfriend.  Yeah, kinda depressing, but reality can sometimes suck.  I can reflect a bit on my own experiences as well: on-line dating did have a great supply but as my history has shown, many of the supply were kind of marginal.  There were definitely some rough diamonds--Amsterdam, e.g., but overall it was very difficult.  And, yeah, the playa, too.  But, I think, trying not to be a total Debbie Downer, that if one keeps at it, and keeps the options open--my biggest advice has been to go do what you love--in my case, sailing.  Even if you don't meet someone, you're engaged in the day--your hobby.  And in my case, I met a very special person--it didn't happen all at once, but it did happen--and so far, so good & gets better everyday.  And now that I am in a wonderful, committed relationship, I have been getting a lot of questions from some of my 40-plus single girlfriends--they usually ask if it will happen to them.  My response is and will be that yes, absolutely--even if the demand is lower--hope trumps all--never give up--I am proof of that.

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