Sunday, October 23, 2011

Risk Worth Taking

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down, I wanna come too
I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

--"Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop"  Landon Pigg

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day starting the real work of getting ready for the move.  My good friend Merryfish helped me with the very arduous task of sorting years of stuff--Good Will, Keep, or Toss.  I was very stressed by the ordeal but we managed to clean out the dining room completely save for the pile of things in the corner that I will box & put in the crawl space.  We also put a sizable dent in the kitchen too.  During the entire time though I felt so overwhelmed by the enormity of what I must do in the next month or two.  But she was awesome--kept me focused, coaxed me through my emotional upheaval with a level-headed calm that was spectacular to see.  You go girl!  I must say that it sure was nice cooking pumpkin pancakes this morning & actually have the space in my kitchen to do it...

But this whole process is scary--when we do buy this house together, what happens if it doesn't work out?  I am out of a house--my house--the one I bought all by myself--it ain't much but it's all I've of Xing Fu's children pointed out a similar concern--what if they have go through a separation again?  What about my son who's had almost 2 years to build a great relationship with Xing Fu?  Yes, he hasn't dealt with real separation since he was 7 so it isn't as fresh as it is for Xing Fu's children, but what if? What if?  But, as Xing Fu pointed out--we cannot live life as what if it doesn't work. 

As we wandered through the corn maze & then the pumpkin patch looking for the just right pumpkins to carve, as we made dinner & carved the pumpkins, lit them, & put them outside to see how we did, I knew that this was no risk--it was right where I needed to be.  It is a risk worth taking.

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