Today would have been my grandfather's 103rd birthday. My amazing Pops who loved nothing more than to be out on a sailboat. He is my hero--and I hope I've done him proud over these past 5 years, obsessively racing on a bunch of sailboats. Last night was the opening race of the Wednesday Night Series on the West River. So glad to be back out there. As I looked around at the scenery (rare when so focused on getting the boat to go faster), I also recognized in me that same feeling: There is no other place I'd rather be than sailing.
Four years ago almost to the date, I met Xing Fu for the first time down on the West River. My son & I used to drive down every other Wednesday to race & I remember the first time we went down there (also because I mention the time in a blog post) & I saw Xing Fu--it was cold & wet & he had on his foulies with a knit cap--too cute. Granted, never thought too much beyond that for that season but look where we are now. And last night we sailed together again down there & I also realized that there is no other person that I'd rather be sailing/racing with. So a tribute to my Pops & a tribute to the West River where I found my passion renewed. I also recently revisited past posts about sailing--I have learned a TON from that first post & the first race back out--reading about my Miles River experience on the Catalina 27 & how handling the kite was really baffling at the time & how the set & douse were beyond me. Even my vocabulary has changed as well as my knowledge of the tweaks in the sail trim. I love how I've grown into the sport again & I love that I have a partner who loves it at least as much as me. Yup, being a nostalgic sop but someone's gotta do it!
It's here. What we've been planning for about a year. I am sitting in my house for the last time listening to the packers from Von Paris packing my kitchen. We've put a serious dent in what they need to pack (to cut down on cost) but the kitchen in my opinion, was the hardest to do, so I left it to them. How strange to be at this point--last night saying things like, "this is the last supper we'll have together in this house", or "the last time we shower in this house", or "sleep here". Here's where nostalgia kicks in--so many years, so many memories: laughter, tears, heartache, joy--this house has watched my son grow into a young man, watched the 50 first's come & go, and then watched my relationship with Xing Fu grow right out of this space. My wish for the young couple who are buying this house is that it protects them as well as it did us & that they begin their lives in a house that has kept us safe for 11 years, filling it with their happy, family noises.
I look around at all of the memories stacked about & sniff a little--Xing Fu said to me this morning, "Are we sure we want to do this?" My response was, "Little late now." But in answer, yes, I want to do this. Yes, there are insecurities about the future (we've both been hurt, burned, etc.), but our outlook is bright--literally sailing off into the sunset together.
"Gone, gone
Gone with the hogshead cask and demijohn, gone with the sugar barrel, pickle barrel, milk pan, gone with the tub and
the pail and the fierce"
--"Rock Island" from The Music Man
Okay, I wish this house thang would move more quickly--I must admit though, with Merryfish's dedication, the main floor of this house is actually coming together. It looks like a hotel--so many of the things that I valued at one point I've let go or packed away. To quote The Music Man, "Gone, gone." Mixed blessing to be sure--Xing Fu & others have commented that it must be nice to have room (especially in the kitchen) to do things--that one can breathe easier with all the stuff gone--I do admit in some ways it is nice but in others, well, I liked my stuff...But Merryfish pointed out that many of those things were from a different life (why do I feel like I'm a blushing bride moving out of her folks' home?) & I'm getting ready to embark on a new one--time to let the baggage go. So gone are the Spongebob, head, & fake flower frond. Gone with the candles, & vases, & potpourri....
Yup, got The Music Man on the brain--my son is in this musical--so funny 'cuz I was in it too about 26 years ago. It was very thrilling to see my kid on stage--Xing Fu, one of his kids, & I went to see the production--I thought it to be quite well done for a high school staging--the 2 leads had good voices. And, even the barbershop quartet kept in tune. The music is difficult in that musical--my hat goes off to the cast & crew. My kid has 3 more performances & then he's decided to take on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.
Auditions are 3 days after the close of The Music Man. I figure, since his grades are good, if he wants to try his hand at it, so be it--a great experience for him if he makes it.
Ok, time to close--got to go into work to sell baked goods for 2 hours during the city elections...nice to have a day off.
Someone asked me recently (I think it was Xing Fu--probably was..), if I remembered all of my 50 first dates. I thought about a little bit--and I think I remember most of them--I have a certain fondness for them all...a slight nostalgia if you will. Do I miss it? Mebbe a teensy, tinesy, little bit. But so little that I hardly miss it. It was a hugely interesting time in my life--not always all that fun, mind you, but most definitely, interesting. In fact, a guy I think I went out with way, way, back circa 2006 or 2007, tried to friend me on Facebook recently. Ewww. Most of the dudes were nice--I think out of all of the dates I've been on there were only a few total bombs. Not a bad track record. And most of those dates were from on-line dating sites.
I remember way back when in my college days reading the ISO adds & how anyone who did the on-line dating thing was desperate. How that perspective has shifted. I think I never would have met the breadth of guys that I did if not for the computer--never would have happened prior to the popularity of the online sites--I think I hit it at the right time--seemed to start to be a very acceptable vehicle to meet guys around the time of my divorce--2005. Quite sure I wouldn't have gone out as much either. So that certainly is one positive for the online thing--perhaps the distance has skewed my perspective...
Anyway, I was inspired to write this post because I was reading a Facebook friend's own online trials via her wall posts & she posted this afternoon "Call me old school, but when a guy is trying to date me, I still like to talk on phone before a first date, not just texting! WTF LOL" I think a phone conversation can be a good thing--gives an opportunity to see what you're getting into so to speak, but I got to the point that if all the dude did was talk or text & never actually asked me out, then that was a supreme waste of my time. So cutting back on the phone or texting chatter made a lot of sense to me--just cut to the chase, dammit!! I got to the point where I would say in an online correspondence, "Not much into chatting on the phone, more interested in meeting face-to-face & seeing if there's a connection." Most guys appreciated that--if you ain't a good fit, better to find out real quick then to have planned your entire life together out via texts & emails & phone convos--that happened to me a few times--eventually I got smart about it. Cus once you met & there was no connection, well, what are you left with? Hours & hours of wasted time--being in my 40's --not interested in wasting that kind of time. I wanna get to the good stuff! Unfortunately for my online life there wasn't much beyond the first meeting. Ah well.
