Wow! I so agree with that statement as simple as it is. A couple fractious days in relationshipland. And although we don't always get along as well as we'd like, I always think that at the end of the misunderstanding, miscommunication, or mis-something we are able to learn a little more about one another. Yup, we had a bit of a disagreement & as always it had to do with time and waiting--reference to the post just before this one. And I think in some ways all three of the above Cs were missing which is why we argued in the first place. For me, sometimes the only thing that my BF needs to do when we've been at it is to simply say that he's sorry & give me a hug & believe it or not, all of my vitriol, etc., will quite possibly just, dissolve....even if he's sorry for just a small part of the issue--like sorry for just the act of getting into the argument in the first place, that small gesture will move the situation miles forward. When that happens, I don't need to win, I just know that I've been heard & that is most important.
Another piece of this relationship stuff is growing familiarity--everyone knows the hackneyed phrase, "You always hurt the ones you love." Why? Perhaps one part of the answer comes from something I saw on TV this afternoon (DVR'd). I've begun watching The New Girl & I really like it. But I found these statements ring true:
“You know what sucks about getting old?
Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on ya’.
I want friends who still lie to me because they don’t want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that.”
Familiarity brings verity...when a relationship is new, one is on one's best behavior--now things are different. But unlike Nick, I'd rather hear the truth & work through it because who wants to cruise through life with only superficial friends? I hope that when we have disagreements that the resolution brings about a deeper understanding--as well as the three Cs. :)
I haven't really touched on the compromise thing yet...but I will--that's a big one.