Thursday, December 1, 2011

Relationship Checklist

One of the blogs that I follow is written by Alisa Bowman entitled: Project Happily Ever AfterHere's the link to the post that I'm referencing:

She's written a book with the same title that I've read.  Today's post I've found quite applicable to my current thread here.  Even a bit of the 3 Cs--compromise too.  It is about happily married folk but in all honestly as I've said previously--it is just as important for LTRs too. I really like the list that she provides & much of it rings quite true. One part of the list talks about accepting defeat.  Being able to say, "Ok, you win this one."  Not necessarily out loud but being able to back down is important--a compromise of sorts if you will.  Along with that is what Bowman says about being able to say "I'm sorry."  She says it is easier & more gratifying to say sorry than to defend your actions.  I've even said to Xing Fu that if he simple says I'm sorry, chances are that I'll let a lot of what was bothering me go--

Realizing of course that there will be arguments--how you deal with them is key--in fact I think that arguing shows a healthy relationship--not ever arguing indicates that one or both people aren't vested anymore--that the passion is gone. If you spend your life in a house where you never talk to one another--watch out!  If you get to a point where it is better to just ignore your problems & hope that they fade, then that's where resentments build up--I'm the opposite--I tend to deal with issues right away--I hate having things drag--I want it done & over with so I can move on.  I was the exact opposite when I was married so perhaps I've learned from my mistakes.   Hopefully, we both have.

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