Couple Friends

Earlier today I came across a little snippet of an article about the importance of having couple friends. So I did a little research because as it was, my BFF(J) was over last night & actually mentioned something like having couple friends.  In fact, her insight was pretty much spot-on.  She said that having good couple friends helped her with her own relationship.  She mentioned BFF(A)'s marriage in particular.  But she also said that watching Xing Fu & I navigate a second relationship also teaches her about interaction with her own spouse.  She says that she observes other couple' interactions (positive & negative) & is able to see other ways of handling her own relationship.  And, based on my research, that is exactly what the "experts" recommend.  According to a USA Today article by Sharon Jayson, the experts Geoffrey Greif & Kathy Deal (both from U of MD Baltimore) say the following: 
 "Being close with another couple and watching how they manage their ups and downs is a role model for how you can manage your ups and downs," Greif says.

And, it can enhance your relationship with your partner, Deal says. "Some couples said, 'When I see my husband or wife with other people, it really makes me appreciate them in a different way. I see how charming or thoughtful they are or what a sparkling conversationalist they are.' It makes them feel very positive about their partner," she says."

I agree too--in fact, well before there was a relationship with Xing Fu, I talked to BFF(A) about her marriage & how she navigated the rough spots quite a lot.  I think I've learned a lot from her as well as from BFF(J).  It is a good thing that we do enjoy each others' company as much as we do & that Xing Fu fits right in because BFF(J), BFF(A), myself, & their spouses have spent a great deal of time together over the years & it would be a shame if everyone didn't get along.  Case in point, we had a blast with BFF(J) & hubby last weekend when we all went bowling.  It is nice to have those relationships & finding couple friends as I've heard is notoriously difficult.  So raise a glass to your close couple friends because they will help you with your own relationship (and watch how they do cheers).  

Year One

"If this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold
We’re shining bright and I want you, I want you to know.."
--James Blunt, Stay the Night 

This weekend marked the first year that Xing Fu & I have been together.  We both realize that this is really just the beginning, but we acknowledge that it has been a great start & feel that we're doing this right--hopefully learning from our mistakes in past relationships & applying it to ours.  This weekend was not only a time of celebration, but also one of reflection.  We did talk about the past & what we do differently now--it's proven to be a very good strategy--and I'm continuously amazed at how compatible we are on so many levels--I said that last year too.

Busy one too--I can't believe how fast the year went--& the weekend.  Friday, in celebration, I finally opened one of the last bottles I brought back from California--a beautiful 2005 Pinot Noir from Acacia--made even better in that it was a limited release from the Beckstoffer vineyard in Carneros and cannot be obtained outside of California.  It was truly phenomenal--a match for our celebration. I cooked two dry-aged rib eye steaks from Ceriello's at Belvedere Square on the grill--a great match & another sentimental throw-back to last year's dinner that I made the first night we were together.  And then, in homage to the list of couples who play together, stay together, I challenged him to a Scrabble game & proceeded to beat the pants off him (too bad we didn't play strip Scrabble).  Laughing all the way.

Saturday brought us to an early wine tasting with the BFFs because of the Raven's game being held right in our usual prime time wine tasting--such a sad loss but it was less so as it was spent over at my BFF(J)'s house and spent amongst great friends.  Again, in celebration, I brought another beautiful Pinot Noir.  This time from Hartford Court--Hailey's Block vineyard--a 2007.  After the game Xing Fu took me out for a proper anniversary dinner--everything was great & so easy with him--and the conversation is always interesting.

And on Sunday, we added to the list--we took my son & his best friend bowling.  And I was surprised to find that Xing Fu is quite the bowler--his own ball & all--so he proceeded to beat the pants off of me.  He was so cute to watch when he knew he would get a strike--his body language just radiated--I just enjoyed watching him being happy to score well.  Another great weekend...to start another great year for us.  In an email this morning:
"Another great weekend for us.  Way cool."  My response, "Way cool indeed."