Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Couple Friends

Earlier today I came across a little snippet of an article about the importance of having couple friends. So I did a little research because as it was, my BFF(J) was over last night & actually mentioned something like having couple friends.  In fact, her insight was pretty much spot-on.  She said that having good couple friends helped her with her own relationship.  She mentioned BFF(A)'s marriage in particular.  But she also said that watching Xing Fu & I navigate a second relationship also teaches her about interaction with her own spouse.  She says that she observes other couple' interactions (positive & negative) & is able to see other ways of handling her own relationship.  And, based on my research, that is exactly what the "experts" recommend.  According to a USA Today article by Sharon Jayson, the experts Geoffrey Greif & Kathy Deal (both from U of MD Baltimore) say the following: 
 "Being close with another couple and watching how they manage their ups and downs is a role model for how you can manage your ups and downs," Greif says.
And, it can enhance your relationship with your partner, Deal says. "Some couples said, 'When I see my husband or wife with other people, it really makes me appreciate them in a different way. I see how charming or thoughtful they are or what a sparkling conversationalist they are.' It makes them feel very positive about their partner," she says."
I agree too--in fact, well before there was a relationship with Xing Fu, I talked to BFF(A) about her marriage & how she navigated the rough spots quite a lot.  I think I've learned a lot from her as well as from BFF(J).  It is a good thing that we do enjoy each others' company as much as we do & that Xing Fu fits right in because BFF(J), BFF(A), myself, & their spouses have spent a great deal of time together over the years & it would be a shame if everyone didn't get along.  Case in point, we had a blast with BFF(J) & hubby last weekend when we all went bowling.  It is nice to have those relationships & finding couple friends as I've heard is notoriously difficult.  So raise a glass to your close couple friends because they will help you with your own relationship (and watch how they do cheers).  

1 comment:

asian dating said...

I do agree with you. I can relate it to my situation. I and my bf are classmates since first year college until we graduated and it's our pleasure to be with our friends during our ups and downs. They are our main advisers. Having some true friends is the best gift God has given to us.