Tuesday, August 18, 2009

You're Not the One

I haven't written about the man who took me to Amsterdam. I've been mulling it over quite a lot because I want to be respectful to him while saying clearly that we weren't a good fit for dating. I really wish we were because it would make things so much easier. In other words I have some guilt over this....and won't whore myself. This trip was such a gift to me & I am grateful to him but... The first day after we arrived & had been wandering a bit, I told him that I wasn't going to lie to him but that I didn't see us dating. He told me that he figured it out. I was fairly tense up until that discussion. He said that he saw this as an opportunity to learn--that my being there was a good thing for him. I hope I was a good traveling companion--I think I was. He is a very nice guy, obviously, but he is a bit more straight-laced then I am. Who takes someone they just met on a trip to Europe???? I am one lucky gal. And he wasn't an axe murderer--just a great, nice guy to have fun with to reflect on a past theme. Different kind of fun. I made sure that our days were filled with activities--I could tell that he was really into me & I didn't want to encourage anything beyond friendship. He told me when we got home that he didn't regret a thing & that he would do it again just maybe not for a week--5 days max. I think I may set him up with my friend Aa--they'd be great together.

Mr. Trip told me that he knew knew something was up even when we first met. We had met at a wine bar & the other guy--the Sweet Mistakes one, was there. Mr. Trip said he could clearly read his body language & that it gave him away. I guess my body language didn't indicate my desire for the other man which was a good thing when first meeting someone. But still he offered this trip to me--he was hoping that something would develop with us. I did try--I did. But you just can't force these things & besides, I left a bad marriage because I didn't want to waste the rest of my life with the wrong person--why would I force something that doesn't work just because he took me on a trip. I will not settle--I can't. Every pot has a lid, to quote an oft-used phrase & I will find my lid without settling. It is just taking a looooong time.

1 comment:

Incognito said...

Thanks for sharing this; I think your straightforwardness about your feelings was so mature and right. I'm sure Mr. Trip appreciated your honesty also and it sounds like it was a great trip for the both of you, in many ways. Glad it happened to two good people.