An Interview With Lori Gottlieb From The Atlantic

Bashert

See you in your dreams
See you in your dreams
Looking your way,
Holding you close.
I gaze into your eyes,
Touching your soul.

--See You In Your Dreams--TR3 (Tim Reynolds)

"Bashert, (באַשערט, also transliterated besherte, beshert or besherter) is a Yiddish word that means "destiny". It is often used in the context of one's divine soulmate, and thus has romantic overtones."


Is it? It sure feels that way...

Received an email this morning saying:
"Wanted to call you last night. Meant to call you last night. Did not call you last night. Have no idea why not. I'm beating myself up over it now."

I had felt the same way--my response was to cut & paste the same thing & then add: "great minds think alike."

Is this my "corresponding puzzle piece"? And could I be anymore sappy? But it would seem that the universe has answered me--set me up for this--cleared the way & prepared me--after the Bull I think I absolutely appreciate what has come my way & I'm very happy that I didn't tempt Karma either.

Recently I've been reading a few articles posted on Slate (http://www.slate.com/id/2243179/) & Atlantic Marry Him! - The Atlantic (March 2008) that discuss "settling" when you're in your 40's & single. Frankly I'm glad I haven't...I do believe that things happen for a reason & throughout this blog I have insisted that I won't settle & I haven't! The articles angered me a bit actually. Why should anyone take the guy that they don't want because they feel that there's no one else out there...that just sucks in my humble opinion.

You're Not the One

I haven't written about the man who took me to Amsterdam. I've been mulling it over quite a lot because I want to be respectful to him while saying clearly that we weren't a good fit for dating. I really wish we were because it would make things so much easier. In other words I have some guilt over this....and won't whore myself. This trip was such a gift to me & I am grateful to him but... The first day after we arrived & had been wandering a bit, I told him that I wasn't going to lie to him but that I didn't see us dating. He told me that he figured it out. I was fairly tense up until that discussion. He said that he saw this as an opportunity to learn--that my being there was a good thing for him. I hope I was a good traveling companion--I think I was. He is a very nice guy, obviously, but he is a bit more straight-laced then I am. Who takes someone they just met on a trip to Europe???? I am one lucky gal. And he wasn't an axe murderer--just a great, nice guy to have fun with to reflect on a past theme. Different kind of fun. I made sure that our days were filled with activities--I could tell that he was really into me & I didn't want to encourage anything beyond friendship. He told me when we got home that he didn't regret a thing & that he would do it again just maybe not for a week--5 days max. I think I may set him up with my friend Aa--they'd be great together.

Mr. Trip told me that he knew knew something was up even when we first met. We had met at a wine bar & the other guy--the Sweet Mistakes one, was there. Mr. Trip said he could clearly read his body language & that it gave him away. I guess my body language didn't indicate my desire for the other man which was a good thing when first meeting someone. But still he offered this trip to me--he was hoping that something would develop with us. I did try--I did. But you just can't force these things & besides, I left a bad marriage because I didn't want to waste the rest of my life with the wrong person--why would I force something that doesn't work just because he took me on a trip. I will not settle--I can't. Every pot has a lid, to quote an oft-used phrase & I will find my lid without settling. It is just taking a looooong time.