Thursday, September 17, 2009

Bad Girl Drama

Samantha: Ladies! Seamen, twelve o'clock!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around there are sailors, because with her, you never know.

Sex & The City

So after the regret comes introspection. Bad Girl--here I have been complaining about the BBs in my life & I think I've come to recognize that I may be just as bad....of course I wouldn't play the game like the Bull--I may be bad but I ain't BAD-destructive, sociopath. I think I'm bad-fun, drama. Recently a few people have called my bluff. Saying that I thrive on the drama that my choices create--that the drama prevents any deep relationship because it's diversionary--I won't get hurt. That wall is intact & no one gets in. Since the Bad Boys won't ever be appropriate relationship choices & I know it walking in, I know I won't get stung. It all kinda makes sense but I really wonder if this Bad Girl is a reaction to the Bull. After being so burned am I choosing to protect myself or am I choosing to have fun? Last summer I thought about having a "Samantha summer" but I met the Bull--it appears that recently I have been channeling my inner Samantha.

And yes, I have been having fun. Because, well, I AM a flirt...but even so I am always aware of Karma....I will only go so far with certain men--again I am not destructive. And I would like to meet my match.

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