"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always
been the two most beautiful words in the English language."
- Henry James
What happened to my summer? I am sitting with the windows open, catching the fall-like air & already, aside from the crickets, I hear geese flying overhead (maybe it has something to do with the lake close to my house..dunno). Only a couple of cicadas chirp as if their voices are already withering with the approach of the fall months. September always brings mixed emotions--I always look forward to summer--not only because it is the wrapping-up of my work(school) year but because that's when my fun begins. Even if I do work all summer. It makes me somewhat melancholy as the pool closes & the racing season draws to a close--at least there's the fall series.
This summer proved to be as memorable as last but in a slightly different way. Just a reflection on my trip to Amsterdam--it seems so recent & not almost a month past.
And although I haven't gotten any closer to finding "the one" this summer, I am strangely OK with that. In a way, all of the intensity of the summer search has faded just like the summer. I am more of a mind of if it happens, it happens. I still want to find that person, & I still believe that I will--I guess I'm just not so urgent about it. Which may be a good thing. Time to focus on me again--back to the routines of TKD, riding, & running, not to mention the gym. Working on finishing my Master's in School Leadership & juggling the responsibilities of being an IEP Chair as well as the School Support Team chair. Leadership roles in my school are becoming very important for me. Still, I have a little feeling of weltschmerz--world-weariness. I love my summers & wish they were just slightly longer.....
"The summer days are fading, as they must
From endless hours to short and fleeting light
The bird's once bright, immortal tune, now cries
A melancholy aura to the dusk
The children fiercely climb, and dream, and race
Before their wild and unchained days depart
And yet beneath the zeal lies a half heart
For there isn't time, there's only enough space
The sun seems low, a hazy orange sphere
Now reminiscing sweetly of the days
When endlessly before you summer lay
And as in the deep, crimson dusk you stir
Your soul joins with the birds in wistful brood
Crying for lost summer days, for childhood."
- Shannon Georgia Schaubroeck, The End of Summer