Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Stoopid, Stoopid, Stoopid

Regret sucks. Bad decisions suck. Hangovers suck. Sometimes I wish I didn't make the choices I do. Yeah, I could blame it on the wine & maybe I'd feel a little less like an idiot but underneath that great Pinot haze I knew what I was doing.

It started off innocently enough:

One of my circlers, Sweet Mistakes (& yes, now it is quite a fitting name), has been going through a nasty divorce--right at the beginning as a matter of fact. I have been very supportive of him but have stepped waaaay back so as not to complicate things & waiting until the air clears a bit before being anything more than a good friend. We had been planning to get together for dinner a while ago but because of the chaos in his life right now we hadn't been able to set up a time. This past weekend we planned again for this week. I wasn't holding my breath because stuff has come up before & prevented him from coming over. But SM calls me on Monday to confirm for last night & I was happy & excited--we planned to make mussels a la Brussels & have a bottle of Muscadet that often accompanies them as well. We planned to cook it up together & I prepped everything prior to his arrival. We had great fun making dinner & it was quite good. We were having a blast~being friends but it just went too far after the bottle of wine was consumed & some of my walls crumbled.

Now I am just sorry--I think there is a future with SM but we need to go back to where we were--me being a supportive friend with the future potential relationship change. I texted him: "I need to hit the rewind button--too far, too fast. Pls call--we should talk." I hope we can fix this...

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