Friday, October 23, 2009

Dating Purgatory?

Levels of Dating and the words to describe them are so awkward--especially when you are in your forties. One of my BFFs--CFW and I were chatting about my current status with SM. I say we're in dating purgatory. We're sorta beyond just dating because we see each other regularly, i.e., last night and plans for the future--seeing Eric Lindell, but it isn't a relationship yet either. It's the in-between time; the gray area. That brings up the inevitable question of how do you introduce someone to him? He's not my boyfriend & he's beyond a friend--awkward. And before you are in an official "relationship"--as I said--what exactly is that called? We're "dating"? Nope. "Friends with Benefits"? Nope. ????.....Especially if it's complicated, which in the case of SM, it is. In the interest of privacy I won't discuss why, but here I am again with a man & our relationship isn't straightforward---sigh. Hopefully soon it will be, but I am literally in purgatory currently. Maybe again the Universe taking pot-shots at me.

Equally difficult is the word "boyfriend". I am 40 plus years old--boyfriend doesn't seem to work--case in point--when I was with the Bull I felt it strange to say "This is my boyfriend D---". I often just said, "This is D---." I would tell people things like "the guy I'm seeing." And if you've read this blog or the archives, our relationship was never really clear cut so that added another level of awkwardness to the discussion.
So at forty plus we need a new term for a "boyfriend"--manfriend or middle-aged manfriend, maybe oldmanfriend?

OK, I've got it now. At a wine tasting I could say, "Hi. This is ----. We're in Purgatory." Heh--SM's my Purgatory Buddy!

1 comment:

Incognito said...

Hey, it couldn't be worse than the 70s when people introduced each other as their "lovers." Oy! No doubt left there, eh?

Boyfriend is kind of passe; I do hope you can find an appropriate wordage to fit. The Purgatory could enter all states of relationship, too, beginning, middle, end, etc. Definitely would be a conversation starter, which fits you to a "T."