Sigh...

I am tired of this week.  It has been a very long one.  I have always said that I'm not a very good alone person & this week has just proven that in spades.  I like to be around people & be socially interactive--I'm not saying that I cannot be alone--I just don't enjoy it as much as being with someone or a group of someones.   Normally my approach to difficult times is to continue to have a positive outlook & push through but that is under normal circumstances.  With my son away, work over for the summer, etc., etc., I feel adrift.  If one aspect of my regular structure were in place--say, summer work were one more week, I think I'd have been in much better shape because I'd have some focus.  I am a person who requires regular structure--I don't know what to do with myself when there isn't.  I must say however, that my support system of friends has been phenomenal.  They knew that this week would be a toughie, & they went out of their way to hang in there with me--through my funks & frustrations.  It is funny--most people long to just have nothing to do--vacation, etc.  For me, I like to have something to do--which is one major reason why I choose to work during the summer when a lot of education folk take off.  I know myself & this week has been a good example of what I try to avoid at all costs.   Last year I had Amsterdam to focus upon when I knew that work would be over & I would need to find something to occupy my time--also racing on about 7 different boats helped as well--this year I have one boat for the most part (I'm not complaining because it has been great) & so I'm more limited in the races I do.  This imposed exile is coming to an end--and I will be better. Pretty soon my son will be home from camp & we will establish our rhythm once more. But tonight & most of tomorrow still loom--sigh.