Vaycay? You Decide!

Last week we all went to the beach for a week.  I mean we ALL went to the beach....all 10 of us!  I have come to appreciate my mom & dad for all the work they did when we were growing up or when, as grown-ups, all of the sisters & their families descended on the house in Lewes for a "few days."  YIKES!!  Here's the break-down: me, Xing Fu, 2 of his daughters, my son, my BFF(J) and her kids (my son's best friend & her daughter), and 2 friends of my stepdaughter's.  I needed a vaycay from my vaycay...just sayin'.  
Top 10 Reasons I Need A Vaycay From My Vacation:
10. Getting up at dawn to make lunch for 10
9. Making 10 wraps with various innards
8. Organizing towels, books, frisbees, sunscreen
7. Packing coolers
6.  Packing car with coolers, beach chairs, bags, books, hats, etc., etc.
5. Apres beach: unpacking coolers, chairs, bags, hats, etc., etc.
4. Grocery shopping!  Everyday!
3. Preparing dinner & cleaning up dinner after the clean-up crew has finished (you know what I mean)
2. Drying towels, bathing suits
1. Evening entertainment: driving to ice cream, boardwalk, shopping, movies, etc., etc.
Additional requirements: cleaning up house after 10 people, making sure nothing is broken, doing laundry: sheets, towels, all dishes clean, putting all bikes, chairs, kayaks, etc. back in storage, locking up, leaving.

Did I say that being on the beach at Cape Henlopen was beautiful?  Absolutely!  Was it great fun?  Indeed!  But when I came home I felt like I'd been working much of the week-whew! I have to say though it was fun to see everyone hanging out, just spending time together.  I enjoyed having the time with my BFF(J), & now, with all of our collective kids being older, not having to be concerned with having to entertain them too much.  We provide the opportunities, but they do the rest.  If we'd done this 7-10 years ago, I think it would have been MUCH harder to do. I'm not complaining, I did have times of relaxation but I'm looking forward to when Xing Fu & I go on vacation--alone!

Annapolis Race Week

Looking behind us between races

Wow, what a ride!  We had amazing conditions for this series of races & all I can say is, "whew!"  I am tired  & bruised, but very glad I participated this year.  I wasn't able to race on Saturday because my BFF(J)'s son was a Bar Mitzvah & of course I was there.  He did an amazing job & the service & luncheon were very nice--my BFF(J) should be so proud!  I know she is.  I was happy to be there to share in the special occasion as her family was there for my son's as well.  My son told me that the evening kid's party was a lot of fun too (I had skipped town by then & down in Annapolis to join my crew). 

Day Two of ARW looked & had great wind--we seemed to gel well as a crew & we sailed well--after the races, Barry dropped by to speak to us about how we felt we did & what we learned, etc.  I am excited to begin to look at improving our game--I just want to learn to race better--trim the kite, jib, etc & develop a real understanding to make the boat go faster.  Sunday was an example of a team that executed well & although we didn't win or for that matter even place, I think we all finished that day feeling like we accomplished something--no drama & excellent teamwork.  One of my off-season tasks is to learn the rules--the book is a thick one & I think getting a better understanding of the rules will also approve my racing.    Also great was having the opportunity to sail a regatta with Xing Fu--he has so much more knowledge then I do & I certainly want to learn from him as well--he's been at this racing gig far, far longer than I have & I can certainly benefit from his input.

After the races, we all took the water taxi over to City Dock for the party.  Of course the Dark n' Stormies flowed as Gosling's was one of the sponsors--many quite jovial sailors.... We met up with friends of ours who will be getting married this week--I am very excited for them & look forward to seeing pictures & hearing all about it when they get back.  We went to dinner & had a great time together--they were a lot of fun & it was good to spend some time with them. 

Monday had great wind & we were looking forward to another day.  For me it was a bit more difficult--I woke up feeling a little ill--nope, not hungover, just what appeared to be some stomach bugaboo (definitely NOT what you want to have while racing) so I was having difficulties from the jump getting my head in the game--we figured we'd have one or two races so we wanted to make them count.  The second race was quite exciting--we pulled ahead of another boat & then he fouled us by making us alter our course to avoid collision (an example of knowing the rules).  I couldn't watch too much of this as I was busily flying the kite on the leeward leg.  We couldn't find the yellow protest flag & managed to rig a yellow bag of cookies off the backstay--turns out that they did get a penalty so we ranked over them for this race.  As we finished the race, we thought we were done for the day.  But--5 minutes later we were in sequence for a third race.  Off we go, but I think we were all pretty tired by this point & perhaps collectively not prepared for another race thinking we were going home after the second one.  It was a very difficult race for me--I ripped a rather deep gash in my finger crossing the cockpit to fly the kite on the first downwind leg.  I had blood dripping down my fingers & obviously could no longer execute effectively.  I think at that point I hit an emotional & physical wall.  I went down below to try to stop the bleeding & I began to shake all over--the tears were not far behind--I was just so drained.  After a bit, I collected myself & tried to resume my place--just couldn't do it--I managed to reopen the gash & just had to quit--there is nothing more frustrating & helpless when all you can do is sit on the mast & watch everyone else work around you--I felt incredibly defeated--still--a learning experience because I'd never had that happen before--it was a tough time but I still feel positive about what I've learned--certainly made my share of mistakes but I continue to grow & I'll get better.

But the best part of all was time on the water with Xing Fu & my crew--people I've come to really enjoy spending time with & consider my friends--thanks all for a great race!

Sigh...

I am tired of this week.  It has been a very long one.  I have always said that I'm not a very good alone person & this week has just proven that in spades.  I like to be around people & be socially interactive--I'm not saying that I cannot be alone--I just don't enjoy it as much as being with someone or a group of someones.   Normally my approach to difficult times is to continue to have a positive outlook & push through but that is under normal circumstances.  With my son away, work over for the summer, etc., etc., I feel adrift.  If one aspect of my regular structure were in place--say, summer work were one more week, I think I'd have been in much better shape because I'd have some focus.  I am a person who requires regular structure--I don't know what to do with myself when there isn't.  I must say however, that my support system of friends has been phenomenal.  They knew that this week would be a toughie, & they went out of their way to hang in there with me--through my funks & frustrations.  It is funny--most people long to just have nothing to do--vacation, etc.  For me, I like to have something to do--which is one major reason why I choose to work during the summer when a lot of education folk take off.  I know myself & this week has been a good example of what I try to avoid at all costs.   Last year I had Amsterdam to focus upon when I knew that work would be over & I would need to find something to occupy my time--also racing on about 7 different boats helped as well--this year I have one boat for the most part (I'm not complaining because it has been great) & so I'm more limited in the races I do.  This imposed exile is coming to an end--and I will be better. Pretty soon my son will be home from camp & we will establish our rhythm once more. But tonight & most of tomorrow still loom--sigh. 

Summer is Always Busy

 I think as soon as the summer solstice arrives things kick into high gear.  I have been going nonstop since the 21st & haven't had time to breathe.  Looking back on the two summers that I've been at this blog, I can definitely see a trend.

So, a recap of sorts:  my son was supposed to be in Paris by now (obviously he is not--instead he is spending 2 days in Boston touring that fine city & NOT using his French).  Most of this past week has been spent prepping & packing him for this trip & getting excited for him to go to the country whose language he's been learning & immersed in since kindergarten.  Tomorrow they're supposed to fly out finally--so no 3 days in Paris now, only one...no La Jaconde for him but at least he'll see the La Tour Eiffel.  But he'll get a great overview of the entire country & fly out of Nice.  Shortly thereafter, we're driving him down to camp in NC.  Busy, busy him.

On Wednesday I went out with another boat--not my usual.  It was different to say the least--far more laid-back--people were not interested at all in winning--in fact, this boat is in the same Spin-A class as Xing Fu's boat & we watched them take off as we were still fumbling to set the spinnaker.  But I had fun--skipper has great food on board & as I trimmed the jib, I munched on lemon hummus & sushi--go figure!  It was sad watching as we left to race & my usual ride was anchored to its mooring--harder still when watching my usual fleet out & sailing by--except one one of our regular competitors ran aground & had to be DNF(Did Not Finish) because he was so on hard that he had to motor off (decidedly against the rules).  Next week I'll be back on my regular ride with the regular crew--looking forward to it.

Yesterday I delivered my son down to Reagan National.  We took the MARC & then the DC metro to the airport--so easy--until I had to get back.  I had a great time wandering around Union Station & window shopping in the stores there, but the train ride back was horrible.  The A/C in the train was broken & noxious fumes were in the car I was in.  I emailed Xing Fu just before I arrived at the BWI station half joking that I was going to hop off & could he pick me up?  Surprisingly he emailed me back & said sure--he rescued me from being overcome by diesel (or something) fumes--such a knight in armor...from there we drove back up to Baltimore where he was supposed to meet work friends for happy hour.  I was concerned about crashing but needn't be--very nice people--had a great time still meeting more of the folks in Xing Fu's circle.  

Earlier today, I posted that article from EHarmony--didn't really comment on it but after reading it I have found that most of what was written appears to hold true for us....makes me happy to be in a relationship that works well on the many levels it does--sorta confirms the direction we continue to follow & that we're there for each other. Case in point, this morning, after leaving his place, I drove to Starbucks for my usual fix.  As I was waiting in line, my phone rang--I thought it might have been my son updating me about his current situation, but it was Xing Fu just calling to tell me how much he enjoyed our morning & to have a great day--put a huge smile on my face despite my frustration around my kid.  That's what I mean--those seemingly little things really make it big & I appreciate us all that much more.  

But the weekend looks to be hugely busy...again.  Phish concert tomorrow & sailing on Sunday...a blur as usual.  This blog is great at keeping a good record if nothing else.

Jettisoned!

Well, maybe not jettisoned but certainly changed.

I decided that I no longer wanted to be involved with my guys beyond a friendship--

I made that decision last week even before Xing Fu & I actually discussed it--I just don't want to be involved with them in that way anymore. I just knew.

So how do I let these guys down? It was a little dicey for me--I really liked all of them & didn't want to lose their friendships but was prepared if I did.

I must admit that it's nice to have a few to tell as opposed to none to tell...nice for the ego to be honest.

Overall they were all very cool with it--still wanting to "hang out" & be friends--for this I am glad because I enjoy my friendships with them & certainly didn't want them to end--just become a different incarnation. Seamus seemed very happy for me--I have a bit of a bittersweet feeling with him but I know we'll still be close friends--just the way we are. SM also was cool--& he did know something was up last week at wine tasting..he also felt that it had been unfair to expect me to continue to wait for him. So as I said, very cool guys--and they're still my friends--I have to say I'm grateful for their continued friendships as over the past months as they certainly have enhanced my life.

My feet still haven't touched down....

Explosive!

My 4th of July was quite fun but also quite a learning experience. I did get to go sailing--on a sunfish. My day started casually enough--wanted to by some more Boordy Cab Franc because I was out again--I had made a promise to myself not to buy anymore red wines but recently the request for red in my household has skyrocketed, heh, more on that later. I also wanted to bring my BFF(J) some more Shine Reisling so she'd have some for the party. The wine shop was out so I asked for another suggestion in the same pricepoint. So here is where things get interesting--one of the circlers (see previous posting) works at this wine shop & had called me 2 weeks ago to get together. I talked to him but didn't save his number & so we never finalized any plans--so here I walk into the store & hopefully this time we'll work something out--I did apologize for losing his number. And he was still quite interested so we'll see...

I had asked another girlfriend (Aa) of mine to come to the party with me (my son was already there with his best buddy) since her boys were with their father & she was all alone. I knew my BFF(J) wouldn't mind but I warned her that I'd be flitting around a bit since people I really like would be there that I hadn't seen in quite some time. Aa didn't mind & as it turned out she knew some of the folk there anyway so she was fine. But...now this is juicy, one of her girlfriends has been having a 3 & 1/2 year affair with a married guy (Karma's gonna bite this woman's ass sooner or later) which isn't all that odd except for the fact that one of the guests at the party is very good friends with the guy's wife. Can we say, "AWKWARD!!" Also I can easily say: Smalltimore too. Aa was a little unsettled & told my BFF(J) all about it--I think I'd gone off with a few friends of mine to look at a house that was on sale on the water a block over from my BFF(J)'s house & I'm quite sure Aa needed to tell somebody--why not the hostess of the party to make life interesting? Explosive!

Anyhow, I was very excited to see 2 of my friends whom I hadn't seen since the Labor Day shindig last year. Additionally, another close friend of BFF(J), Boston, was also back down for the party, having been at the Labor Day bash as well. It wouldn't have been remarkable except that these 3 people had met & experienced the Bull when all was pretty new between us. They hadn't seen me since. My BFF(J) had filled Boston in on what had happened, & apparently my son told her even more...Perspectives are everything. Last year, when we'd all gone off together to see the very same house that was for sale, it was very obvious to me that Boston was falling all over herself for the Bull. In fact, at first I was irritated, but then I was amused, especially after it didn't look like he was rising to the bait. And later, the Bull & I had laughed about how obvious it was & how futile. But that perspective is far different then others'. Boston claimed that he was falling all over her & that she was toying with him. The two other friends said that they didn't think we'd last beyond the month--we did break-up in October so they were half-right (back together in less than 2 weeks as everyone knows). They also thought we were fighting at the party--which we weren't--we would often banter back & forth with one another--sometimes very intensely so I guess it could've appeared that way to an outsider. I did say the relationship was explosive.... But they all had opinions about the Bull & none of them very flattering..ah well. All I can say is that it was very interesting to hear what they thought of that party & how the ultimate demise of our relationship occurred--no one was too surprised by it.

The party itself was also interesting. There seem to be two separate groups of people there--the family set who sit in a big circle on the lawn & eat & chat, & the outsiders group--these folk move around a lot but can be primarily found out on the dock, on a boat, walking around the neighborhood, or in the water--doing something. Of course there are tons of kids who sort of weave in & out of both groups. I straddle both groups but I primarily hang on the dock. Some of the other group came & joined us--we were out on the raft for a while & a couple of the more laid-back women joined us there where we sipped red-neck margaritas & sangria. I also go sit & chat a bit--usually when I get some food, but I tend to find the lawn convo a bit staid & stifling--in other words--NOT explosive....so I'm not there for too long. My friend Aa mostly hung on the lawn but she did come sit with us on the raft as well as on the dock so I felt like she didn't feel left out. How High School--but I have to say that things really don't change even when you're in your forties--I'm just much less apologetic for who I am, nor do I care what people think of me like I did when I was younger. So the party was winding down & we had plans to meet my folks on their boat downtown to watch the fireworks in the Inner Harbor.

Sitting on the boat watching the fireworks was just super! The docks were full of partiers & the night was fresh & festive. Friends of my folks had brought a plate full of chocolate-covered strawberries, & we all had some wine. I have to say that this 4th was quite exceptionally explosive.

Workman's Comp

Is there Workman's Comp for hearts?

I was walking down the hall of my school to go teach Taekwondo in the afterschool program. I had forgotten my uniform so I was prepared to teach in a skirt but take off my heels--yep, that's the kind of day it had been. I was already late because I received a phone call from my boss which required me to pull up information on my computer to take care of a potential problem from a past meeting on a kid. Turns out that all was in order so nothing bad would happen...thankfully. So I was marching briskly down the hall to the gym when all of a sudden I trip & land right on my ass! Immediately my ankle swells noticeably. Teachers run into the hallway to see what happened & they call the nurse. So starts my ordeal with Baltimore City Public Schools' Workman's Comp & being the single gal.

After filling out the forms, I'm told I have to go downtown to Mercy to get checked out. Well now! Who's supposed to take me? Both my BFFs have family obligations, my folks are out of town, my sis lives in Chicago, etc., etc...So I call one of my buddies (now known as my Prince) from work--he wonderfully comes to my rescue, even being sick with the creeping crud. So after a number of hours in the bowels of Mercy Hospital, trying figure out the role of the medical groupie who follows all of the uniform-clad nurses & NPs, but is not in a uniform herself....a few x-rays & one motrin 800 (I begged for something more fun), I am released on my own recognizance with what I knew I had in the first place--a very minimal sprain. Yeesh--all this for nothing, not even a day off or a percocet! Actually was offered a few days off--but I just didn't see the need or the aggravation it would cause.

But the point of this story, & I do have one, is that it was quite hard to be alone here with ths emergency. As a single gal with a kiddo, it is doubly difficult--at least my child could let himself in at home. My BFF(A) actually kept him at her house for me while I was sitting in the ER at Mercy. I cannot stress this enough: we need our friends--those who will watch the kid when you sprain your ankle, those who will pick you up & drive you, sit with you, try to figure out the medical groupie Mercy mystery with you, & also all of those friends on FB who show their concerns too. After the horrible nature of my break-up & the subsequent rallying that my network of friends have done for me, I am always grateful to the universe for the people who, for some reason, love me & are willing to be there no matter what--we single moms need that more than anything else--