Last post I talked about how I sometimes felt we were stagnated regarding moving our families together. After writing that post I fretted a bit about broaching the topic with Xing Fu--he is very sensitive to his kids' ability to handle these changes & he has been pretty reluctant to move forward sometimes. But I decided to talk to him about it as we'd already planned a small activity on Sunday leading up to dinner on Sunday evening. Happily he was receptive to my ideas & so on Saturday evening I went to his place & spent a quiet evening with him & his kids. I think it went quite well, actually. I brought a couple games with me: Bananagrams & Anomia. I want to think that I'm not coming off as trying too hard but I felt that having something to do rather than just sitting & watching TV was important. At first just he & I played & then everyone else got in on the act. I hope everyone else felt similarly; that it was successful--Xing Fu did, so that was certainly key.
On Sunday we took a little time in the afternoon to go geocaching--just with one of his kids as the rest of ours were otherwise occupado. It was great fun & I think again bridged the gap from stranger to I hope, at least friend. When this all began, I felt that I was this big, scary monster to his kids--and perhaps I was--but as we've integrated things more & more, it is getting easier--I just hope we are able to continue the forward momentum. I don't think there's any going back to the scary monster--I just hope that we all continue to grow together...and perhaps grow fond of one another.
Been reading some advice columns on blending families & thus far it seems that Xing Fu & I are on the right track..I know that it won't always be easy, & it hasn't but I feel very positive about how we're doing. My mom even said that she was impressed with our very thoughtful approach to a very challenging & certainly one of the most important aspects of our lives--she said that she felt that the way she did it was not the greatest--I would agree. Which is why I want to make sure I don't repeat the mistakes that she made--but together, we won't.