Anyway, we are certainly moving forward but I sometimes think his choices of pacing things stagnates a bit. Generally what we've done thus far has gone very well--but our opportunities bringing our separate families together have been more like events & not the normal comings & goings of life. What I'd like to see is less of that black & white degree of separation & more of shades of gray. Activities together for sure but what about the quiet evening at home just chilling? If he has his kids that weekend, if there's nothing specific going on, why not spend a quiet evening together? Some of the kids may be around & others may be out with friends--the normal flow of a weekend. Currently, as I am the sole parent for my son, my ex being in another state, the ebb & flow of our weekend when Xing Fu does not have his kids is just like that at my house. My son may be home, may be at a friend's house or the friend may be here while Xing Fu is with me. Nothing special, no event. I guess that I feel a bit isolated from him when he has the kids & would like us (my son & I ) to be more involved in some ways.
"Also, as the biological parent, recognize that you have a bond with your child that your partner does not share. This can leave him or her feeling isolated. Be sensitive to this and try to include your partner in daily routines as much as possible. Be sure to find activities that you all enjoy doing together."
This is an excerpt from an article from the University of Florida entitled Couples Considering a Blended Family by Kate Fogarty, Millie Ferrer, and Sara McCrea.
Kinda where I am right now--I don't want to spend an ENTIRE WEEKEND smooshed together...just a portion...I want to normalize something that has been anything but normal for about a year now--slowly, absolutely, but not stagnated.