I received an email this afternoon from a guy from one of the dating sites I thought I'd discontinued a long, long time ago. (I went back & made sure to cancel the subscription.) All of a sudden I was transported back over a year ago to my continued online quest for no more frogs.
"OK, so I appreciated the honesty, charm and smarts of your profile -- rare in the online world. As I read it, I kept nodding my head "Yes" so much, that now I have a neck ache. (You'll be hearing from my attorney.)"
He seemed like a nice, earnest guy--called my desire for a man between the ages of 40-55, "quaint" (he is 59), & seemed rather literate--possibly someone I may have been interested in at the time (but the age difference does give me some pause). While it was nice to receive the email, I am grateful that I am no longer "on the market" & sent Xing Fu an email telling him as much. So strange to think about it--in such a different place--now more worried about communicating thoughtfully & enjoying even the mundane in our relationship. Certainly no more negative alone on Valentine's Day sentiments. Just don't give me any stuffed animals.
Why is it that I seem to remember most of my ex's birthdays? I remember my ex-husband's (October 15th), my first real boyfriend's (May 12th), the first man I lived with's (March 18th), & now I can add the sociopath's (April 20th). There were more of course but these are the significant ones. It just makes me somewhat melancholic--none of these worked out for various reasons yet I still have the memories. As the birthdays go by, I pause & think about each man or boy-depending, & what they contributed to my life. How do I feel about them now--is it still painful or have I moved well beyond them? My ex--well he looks far, far older than his 43 years & frankly Karma has not been good to him--I'm so over that. My first boyfriend--well if he were to pop back into my life I think I'd be beyond thrilled--definitely unresolved feelings there. He's 39--yep, I robbed the cradle my senior year of High School. Caused a bit of a scandal too. And then there's the drunk from Missouri I lived with for 18 months--that one took me a while to remember his birthday--he was an alcoholic so most birthdays were no fun with him. He just turned 48. Of course today's candidate is too fresh so right now I'm tickled that the asshole had a crappy weather day for his 49th birthday. Serves him right that it poured & was chilly. He fucking deserves it!
