Well...How Did I Get Here?

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself
Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by
Let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
Water flowing underground
Into the blue again
After the money's gone
Once in a lifetime
Water flowing underground

--Talking Heads, Once In A Lifetime

The Bean in Chicago reflects 180 degree shifts

OK, so this is not a fatalistic posting, just me reflecting on my birthday--is it an epiphany post?  Nah, don't think so--or mebbe.  Just yesterday I was over at my BFF(J)'s house & told her that when I had gotten up that morning, I looked around my bedroom in my new house & thought to myself, "How did I get here?"  Just like the Talking Heads---just feeling all the changes in my life recently come crashing in.  Not a bad thing, just reflective of this critical point in my life.  Was it really just a few years ago that I sat down to write about all of those frogs?  Back then did I ever think I'd be where I am now?  No way! And, did I ever think that being with my "soulmate" would be as challenging as it sometimes is? NOPE!  Definitely had those rose-colored glasses over my eyeballs...I don't regret where I am now--I embrace this time but I sometimes just stop to scratch my head..."into the blue again."  A lot of my life is in flux believe it or not--strange because I have a place to live, a job, etc., etc., but it has all rotated 180 degrees from where I was less than two months ago.  "Well...How did I get here?"

The Quest for Piggly Wiggly & Other Stories From a Packed Weekend

 OK, weirdly I decided that this was a great logo & I wanted a reusable bag to carry my groceries from the Piggly Wiggly's.  We don't have them up here--so I was on a quest.  Sometimes I just get on these tangents, but in all honesty, we needed breakfast stuff so I had a legitimate reason to go there.  Sadly, the PW we went to in New Bern had no reusable bags.  The cashier was very helpful though--she said that they had bumper stickers (not the same but still fun), again we struck out.  I now am in possession of 2 regular plastic grocery bags--ah well--perhaps online is the option.  I must say that I'm very happy that Xing Fu indulged my quest & didn't make too much fun of me.


We'd driven down to NC & I'd been a bit worried--all those hours in a car--how would that work?  Boredom?  Irritation?  Nah--all of us did quite well & aside from the nasty rain at one point, we made it down to Oriental in fairly good time.  I'd found these cabins right on the river in this town & they were really quite charming--the cost per night was an amazing value & it was quite a comfortable night.  The next quest was of course the one for a good bbq--every time I'm down in NC, that's what I look for--and happily found--two times this year.  One was Moore's in New Bern--great NC style stuff--we'd been last year & I knew that another visit was in order.  After dinner we went back to Oriental & walked along the docks--it was quite a magical evening--a hot, sultry July night with the stars shining after the storms pushed through, surrounded by sailboats, & listening to the fish flip & play in the water.  My son decided he'd rather watch TV than go look at a bunch of sailboats in the dark--OK, so I guess that is a bit over-the-top--the sailboats in the dark, but in my mind there's nothing more peaceful than listening to the gentle swaying of the masts & lines gently bumping.  Plus there were a lot of great boats to look at--even in the dark.  (yeah, ok--my son says I'm sailing obsessed--guilty as charged)

                               Oriental, NC


The next day we dropped the kid at camp (and yes, I cry every time) & Xing Fu got an opportunity to see this great sailing camp--watch my kid summarily dismiss his mom, & then we took off to meet a couple of Xing Fu's friends from college.  It was very cool because I had an opportunity to sit back & watch the interplay--I think I learned a lot about Xing Fu & the type of friends he has--it was a great experience for me--I enjoyed being the fly on the wall at one point--glad that these guys were comfortable enough with me to go about their discussions & normal interactions without altering their behavior because "a woman was there."  I continued to indulge my best bbq quest & we all enjoyed a great meal--& I also was able to satisfy my desire for grits too (mebbe there's a bit of southern in me--does the fried okra give it away?)  I guess it makes sense that I'd like his friends as well.  The next day we left to make the long drive back up to Baltimore & still no Piggly Wigglys...

Driving home was another opportunity to grow our relationship--the hours passed & as I usually despise long car trips, this one passed in a blink--again reaffirming what I've known all along--we are a good fit--that we don't run out of things to talk about.   Recently read a brief article in Redbook that states that "good relationships are built on daily loving interactions."  Can be a look, a hug, whatever, but the daily connections are key.  So far, we manage to do that even on the evenings we aren't together--and when we spend long hours in a car...and it has been easy.   


We needed to get back to Baltimore because we had tix to see Counting Crows & Augustana at Pier 6.  Yet another concert--one of three for this summer--coming up Arcade Fire & Spoon (!!!! again!!!) & then David Gray & Ray LaMontagne.  Hopefully add the Virgin Festival as well.  It was a great evening of music & rounded out my birthday (yup).  Oh, did I mention that the 12th was my birthday?  This one was one of the better ones & unlike last year's, no disappointment in sight.  


It was a great jam-packed weekend--forgot to mention the racing on Friday night (imagine that), & now to get ready for the next series of events: one of my buddies from college is in to visit on Friday (we're going to the ballgame  & maybe, just maybe the Orioles will pull out a win--a girl can dream) & then on to Screwpile....and then maybe a few days off....but I wouldn't trade this--it has been wonderful.

Happy Birthday, Now Walk the Plank!

When it all comes crashing down
Try to understand your meanings
No one said it would be easy
This living, it ain't easy, oh

You were sewn together
with a tapestry of molecules
A billion baby galaxies
and wide open spaces

And everything you need is here
Everything you fear is here
And it's holding you up
It just keeps holding you up

No One Said It Would Be Easy--Cloud Cult

I must say that my birthday was pretty frickin' good despite a few set-backs. But in all honesty this is not the first time I've faced birthday disappointment. But I'll get to that later--first the good stuff: My cousins had a great crabfeast at their house on the Wye River. My cousin's birthday was yesterday & they usually use that as a reason to have all the family & friends down for an annual crabfeast. It was great seeing all of my cousins--one is my blog buddy & you can see her comments pretty regularly here--bloggers need those comments--its our bread & butter so I appreciate all of her posts. We don't get to see each other often so it was nice to catch up & she was also instrumental in helping me put my set-back into perspective--thanks by the way. Also seeing her husband--my sailing cousin--he took that pic--it was an honor to have a birthday sail with him. His sister, an amazing woman who I kinda, sorta grew up with & with whom I endured her brother's torment when we were around 10 or 11. They, together with their parents, sailed for 2 years all over the world when they were kids. Their boat, Wisp of Dawn, was their home--what a cool adventure when you're a child. I was always a little bit envious of them when I was a kid, but it wasn't always easy for my cousins--I learned that later. So they all sang Happy Birthday & I had a birthday donut for cake. Anyhow--it was a great way to ring in my 42nd year.

There were so many crabs left that I took almost a bushel home with me & then up to my BFF(A)'s house. She bought me a bottle of Molly Dooker's the Boxer for my birthday--nice! We all settle in for crabs (Round 2 for me) & later her husband plays a great rendition of Happy Birthday--ad-lib the jazz flair--such talent. Again, another super celebration for my 42nd--just reminds me of all I'm blessed with.

Birthdays are often a time for reflection & this one is no different. Last year this time my folks & I were dropping my son off at an overnight sailing camp for the first time. My birthday was celebrated down in North Carolina in a seafood family restaurant with my folks, my son, my BFF(J) & her family. Next week my son goes down to NC so we're a week later this year. But back to the reflection: My birthday has often been rife with interesting turns of events. My grandfather, the one who instilled in me my love of sailing, died a few days before my birthday & we had to sit shiva on my birthday that year. Another year I was fired from a job--on my birthday!! Who does that? I guess some folks do--yet another year I'd finished a course at Coppin & was on my way home to some birthday cake when I was pulled over & given a speeding ticket. On my 35th birthday I jumped off a 35 foot cliff into the quarry at Beaver Dam. So this year is no exception. But I always learn from these set-backs or thrill-rides. I believe this one should follow suit. The bottom line is: I am thrilled to be in my 42nd year--doing the things I love. Whatever disappointments I have faced & will face can only make me a stronger, better person. It's all good!

We Flew

I am battered & bruised but what an amazing race! And tomorrow's my birthday too! Couldn't have asked for a better intro: The West River Sailing Club's Twilight Race. I think we were done well before twilight. We just flew! Sustained winds at 24 knots & the boat speed was 17 knots: approximately 20 mph. For those who don't know it--that is very fast for a sailboat. And that isn't even this boat's top speed--18 knots I think I heard. The boat was made for today's wind --that much I could tell.

The coolest is that we won! And after being about a minute & a half late for the start! We were getting ready to set for the start when we see the other PHRF A boats heading for the line & then the gun goes off! Needless to say, we moved pretty quickly. The Chesapeake was fairly whipped up today & pretty soon we were all changing into our foulies because we were all soaked. Especially hiking out & the bow pounding into the water creates quite a spray. I was thankful for my purchases earlier this season.

On the downwind run I had the opportunity to be aft (in the back) of the boat & see the spinnaker flying--it is just a beautiful sail to watch. That's where we got all the speed--felt like surfing across the waves.

Next week are two of the larger races & if the wind is anything like today's, it will be exhilarating. Night sailing for Solomons & then Screwpile--I was told about the very short tacks--only a mile & a half--very quick pace....almost no time to think before tacking again (turning), Racing is like interval training--bursts of extreme high energy & then a few minutes of down time riding the rails. I am so happy that I have these opportunities to race--I'm learning to sail all over again & in a much different way--I used to race non-spin cruising class. This is waaaaaay different & I'm trying to learn as much as I can. Thanks to the team--I loved today!

Birthday Sailing

No racing this weekend but I did get a lot of sailing in. It was my son's birthday yesterday so it was his wish to go sailing. We lucked out with the weather & wind & off we go on my folks' boat. By the time the afternoon was ending, the wind was up to 15-18 knots, perfect for their boat, & we had a great sail across the bay over to 7 Foot Knoll (I will NEVER get used to seeing that stick in the water instead of the lighthouse) & Craig Hill Channel Light. My son & one of his best friends just had a blast hanging out up on the bow just like I did when I was a kid. Feet over the low side to catch the water (a HUGE no-no while racing of course). He told me that it was his best birthday ever.

The day before my BFF(J) had us all over to her water house to hang out & celebrate my son's birthday. They have a Scorpion (Sunfish knock-off) that my son & her son immediately sailed out & flipped on purpose. They sailed around the river for a while, deliberately flipping the boat as much as possible. You have to climb on the daggerboard to right it. But I was glad that they were so comfortable with it--they'll need that skill for camp. Later I took my BFF(A) out sailing. It had been a while on the tiller, but after 5 minutes I had it all figured out again & we flew across the river & back. No flipping for us though--need to instill confidence in my sailing skills. We had a wonderful time & as usual I am thankful for my friends & them looking out to help me make my son's birthday the best it can be; even if I have to go at it alone. I have a phenomenal support system.

Unfortunately for my son his father forgot to call him on his birthday & he had to call him. I could see him trying to fight off his disappointment & make excuses for his dad. So sad. But he hugged me tightly & thanked me for being there to make his birthday the best & told me how much he loved me--wouldn't trade that for the world. I wonder if my ex-husband even cares how badly he hurts our son.

Back to work today & I'm already swamped! I have educational assessments to complete & meetings to run. I'm already looking forward to Wednesday night & racing down on the West River. Got to get practice in before the big races coming up.

I have to say that it is harder to sail when cruising then racing. I have a hard time finding things to do when I don't have to pay attention to anything or hang out on the rails. But I also must say that I'd rather sail no matter the circumstances be it cruising or racing! Everyone should sail!

Significant Dates

Why is it that I seem to remember most of my ex's birthdays? I remember my ex-husband's (October 15th), my first real boyfriend's (May 12th), the first man I lived with's (March 18th), & now I can add the sociopath's (April 20th). There were more of course but these are the significant ones. It just makes me somewhat melancholic--none of these worked out for various reasons yet I still have the memories. As the birthdays go by, I pause & think about each man or boy-depending, & what they contributed to my life. How do I feel about them now--is it still painful or have I moved well beyond them? My ex--well he looks far, far older than his 43 years & frankly Karma has not been good to him--I'm so over that. My first boyfriend--well if he were to pop back into my life I think I'd be beyond thrilled--definitely unresolved feelings there. He's 39--yep, I robbed the cradle my senior year of High School. Caused a bit of a scandal too. And then there's the drunk from Missouri I lived with for 18 months--that one took me a while to remember his birthday--he was an alcoholic so most birthdays were no fun with him. He just turned 48. Of course today's candidate is too fresh so right now I'm tickled that the asshole had a crappy weather day for his 49th birthday. Serves him right that it poured & was chilly. He fucking deserves it!