Single Gal (for a month)

I dropped off my son in North Carolina for a month of summer camp on Sunday. He was so excited to be off & running--not sure he will miss me too much. But that's ok--I have to admit that last year I missed him at the beginning of the month--I cried as I was leaving the camp in fact, but very soon I was immersed in dating--and then I met the Bull.

After last year's events, the bar is set fairly high for this summer as well. I suppose there's a level of expectation. But it's kinda weird because as much as I'd like to meet someone, I'm just not sure if I want to sink in like I did last year and, are any of these guys what I'm looking for. I'm tired of wasting time. And yes, I have a few dates set up for this week already. And so far they seem pretty nice & normal. First, though, I have a major paper due for my class--so no fun for me until Thursday. So I will ponder these questions & will go out this week & see what there is to see: frogs or princes.....

Poly-what?? Does That Affect My Tax Rate?

What is it with men being polyamorous? I am sick & tired of men saying that they're poly. It is an excuse to fuck as many women as they can & not commit to any. The sociopath claimed he was a poly after we'd been together some months & look where it got me. This seems to be a new trend on the online sites.

"I love to sail, go to listen to music, & walk on the beach. I'm looking for that special woman to share that with & who will match my intellectual curiosity. I'm polyamorous so she'd have to be into that lifestyle as I already have a primary relationship."

WTF??? Yeesh--he sounded great until we got to the poly line. Yesterday I was online checking emails & I was IM'd by a guy who said I was hot & wanted to chat. My new rule is to generally not IM or text message anymore but I was bored & not feeling too good so I checked out his profile & responded to the IM. Stoopid me--he was "seeing someone"--actually he was married & his wife lived in NY. I tried to shake him & he asks me what my problem was about "meeting new people." I told him I didn't have time for cheaters & polyamorists. I've read The Ethical Slut & that lifestyle just doesn't appeal to me.

So here I sit stuck between the perfectly nice guy (my friend MFish pegged it as perfectly boring) & those that look great but won't commit. Sigh...mebbe it's the awful April weather we're having or mebbe it's because it's TAX DAY, but I feel I've paid my dating dues & am due a refund....Happy Tax Day all, hope you've filed or asked for an extension...

First Dates & Other Follies

After being off of the dating web sites for a while, it's always interesting when you go back on. It's almost as if I was a new member because of all the guys who email & wink, etc. As a result I generated a lot of interest including that guy from DC I saw on Wednesday. I should totally get it by now when it comes to guys who come on strong before they meet you & then disappear after. Yup--refer back to the book & now movie "He's Just Not That Into You" & you get the picture. I thought he was very cute & I thought our date went very well judging by the kissing, etc. but I was so wrong. Prior to meeting, & here's my mistake I think, we texted each other pretty much nonstop for 2-3 days as well as talking on the phone. Conversation was easy & borderline risque. That's the problem I think--the hunt--too easy perhaps? Been hearing a bit about being a bitch & not appearing too eager. Yet, my natural & passionate inclination is just to be myself--if I like you then I can't help it. I wish I could be nonchalant but that's just not me. If I'm not charged by the guy then I couldn't be cooler. This occured with the Bull too--totally swept off my feet. There was another very nice guy I met about the same time, but he just didn't do too much for me--we dated for awhile but eventually I just couldn't justify fooling this guy & wasting his time knowing full well that it would go nowhere when I was so into the Bull. Hence the dilemma I face. The DC guy was another one I really dug & I must have worn that on my sleeve because after that first date we had plans to get together Friday night, but after a few dwindling texts he was gone. Ah well. At least there were a few more guys who were interested.

So now I face another date tonight with a new guy--he has a few things going for him right off the bat--he's a sailor, he's an animal person, he's laid-back, & has similar musical tastes. Oh--& he's another Taurus--very good for a Cancer. (At least I thought so--hence the Bull--but there were other reasons for that name too). Additionally, he is a wine person & a foodie so more pluses. We've had great conversations so far but here's the rub--I sense a bit of loneliness & neediness which send me off running in the other direction before we've even met. How much does that sound like a male response??!! Yikes!! But I will give him a chance & try desperately not to compare him to another Taurus I used to know...

New Beginnings, Old Profile

Been here before. I distinctly remember a post to this blog about picking myself up, etc. But weirdly this time I'm looking forward to the fun again. Instead of the dread, I am already having fun. Yeah, I do miss certain aspects of my ex-relationship with the Bull & yes I know I'll have to go back to the 50 first dates/kiss a lot of frogs part of life, but...all it took was a convo with the other woman in this story who said she was already back on-line last week & was talking to someone to give me a bit of a jolt. She even offered to share him since we'd had such luck with that before....If after all the bullshit (heh) she still wanted to begin dating right away & put this chapter behind her, then maybe I could too. I like her--I think we've been through a lot that only we can understand & she seems pretty cool. I wished we'd met under better circumstances because I think we'd be friends. It's a little weird right now, though. Perhaps in time. I want to publicly wish her luck because I think we both went through varying levels of hell & to find out all of this via my blog was beyond a punch in the gut.

But back to the original thought thread...after being given that little cattle-prod (heh), I have put my profile back in active status & tried to reconnect with some of the guys I rejected before because they just didn't measure up at that time. Now I can view them in another light--one not shadowed by bullshit. (God, I kill myself!) So already there have been some promising prospects--I am quite excited. I took a departure from my usual haunts & paid for another service that I hadn't tried yet. Just like last summer when I met the Bull, there are about 10 guys who seem pretty interested & are actually very interesting. The best one so far is a bit like Aiden on SATC. He even seems to have a bit of that rehab persona...we're already scheduled to meet for lunch this week. There is definitely that spark in conversation that I look for & I think he feels it too judging by the texts flying back & forth between us. Oh, & our birthdays are only 5 days apart--I'm the older woman. But, he's another D.C. There's another sailor--a bit older but has great taste in music--some emails exchanged. A guy that I had begun talking to when I was still with the Bull (one of those times I was full of doubt) called tonight & he seemed pretty even-keeled & a nice Jewish boy. There are a few more but we're at the kinda impersonal stage of introductory emails. So I feel pretty good that there's been a lot of interest generated again. Woohoo! For a while there just wasn't anything that I liked--I think the blinders are off & here we go again....