I am so predictable. Of course I would post about Valentine's Day this year. Last year I escaped to the Princess Room because I knew that my Valentine's Day with the Bull would be a bust. I was so right about that. This year was the complete opposite...I made a great dessert which was very appreciated on many levels & I spent it with my uncommon & exciting BF who seems to make me sing whenever he is over...I am a lucky chickie--I say this a lot, I know. But it is what I feel & reflecting on past Valentine's Days brings up the feelings of gratitude I have for the Universe....
Valentine's Day when you are single can really suck! As I've indicated, the last few years I've escaped to Florida to visit my folks during VD weekend because the thought of being at home without anyone was just so depressing. In fact, I've noticed that a few folks on Facebook have had similar sentiments. What concerns me is the depth of some of the pain they've put out there. Even in the height of my anti-Valentine's Day sentiments, I never hit rock bottom or held out that a lost love would come back, or advertise a horrid break-up (other than on this blog--but I don't think anyone could accuse me of being deeply depressed as a result). I don't know their full story of course but I hope that they're getting some therapy....We single gals always talk about how sucky VD is when there's no one & of course Sex & The City talks about it as well as the new Valentine's Day movie, which I saw on Friday--cute fluff but predictable of course. My point to all this is: yeah, I know I am blessed with a great guy now, but I wasn't always, & so I am truly grateful for what has come my way. All of my friends say that I deserved to be happy & I am--almost deliriously so, but been there, done that & I appreciate what others are going through now. It will get better! Positive attitude speaks volumes--that's what I think I had going for me all of the time--that I never gave up hope & always looked to the future.
So I've finally made it! Or so it seems. Baltimore Magazine has an article accompanying this month's singles issue entitled "Don't I Know You?" in which I am featured. Link to come soon. Kinda fun to see my blog in print and some of my adventures out there for the Smalltimore world. I will link soon so stay tuned!
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.” --He's Just Not That Into You
Despite it being Christmas & all that it entails (& I'm not even Christian...), I was a busy woman. And yes, the quote above tends to be true--not necessarily the rejection, although that has happened, but not too much recently. But in terms of rejection, what I have found is that if I'm doing the rejecting I tend not to answer those calls, texts, emails, etc., & hopefully the guy gets the picture (most do, some get a bit cyber-stalkery on occasion) & if I'm the one being rejected I just never get called again. Dude who dropped at least $200 last Friday is a no-call, speaking of not being interested, but neither was I so no harm, no foul. Still, very busy in portal-ville over the holiday.
Which begins the Jewish Christmas. What do you do when your kid is with the former in-law's family, your family is not doing anything, & you do not currently have a significant other? Movies & Chinese food on Christmas! Christmas Eve was with one of my good buddies, my Zen Cyclist, and we had sushi & saw Avatar 3-D. We always have a blast together & I can usually pick his brain about male behavior, & my situations. He can be a good source of info--kinda like Alex in the above-mentioned movie. He's recently remarried to a woman who is currently working in India so he was "single" as well. I wasn't disappointed--good insights always.
Last year I had this big cocktail party I went to with the Bull, this year I didn't go--it actually wasn't because I didn't have a date, that really didn't bother me, it was because my friend Aa had no one at all to hang with over Christmas & I felt bad for her. I am grateful because at least I had choices & she did not--it depressed me so I wanted to be a good friend. We did the double feature movie thingy--saw Up in the Air & then saw Sherlock Holmes. I haven't been to this many movies in ages! Up in the Air was good & reminded me quite a bit of one of my friends--similar parallels...I'm sure if he sees it, he'll get the similarities right away. Sherlock Holmes was a fun "date" movie in my opinion--good stuff for the guys & stuff for the chickies as well.
Then, finally, I made Mole for the first time. I had been gathering the ingredients for the past week & kept trying to find 1) a block of time cuz it takes FOREVER to make, & 2) a relatively good reason to make it. Yesterday was as good as it would get--of course aided by the fact that SM joined me for dinner. I must say that my Mole was quite spectacular--those layers of flavors were right there, including the subtle chocolate under all. The 3 hours it took to construct the Mole sauce was worth it for sure & paired with the chicken tenderloins--heaven--even my kid was awed. Had a nice Zin with it that didn't overpower. I even had plantains that I doctored up for a themed dessert...a very nice night.
So despite being single at Xmas, I was in a good place. Happy Christmas to all--
Now I have to make it through New Year's...
I dropped off my son in North Carolina for a month of summer camp on Sunday. He was so excited to be off & running--not sure he will miss me too much. But that's ok--I have to admit that last year I missed him at the beginning of the month--I cried as I was leaving the camp in fact, but very soon I was immersed in dating--and then I met the Bull.
After last year's events, the bar is set fairly high for this summer as well. I suppose there's a level of expectation. But it's kinda weird because as much as I'd like to meet someone, I'm just not sure if I want to sink in like I did last year and, are any of these guys what I'm looking for. I'm tired of wasting time. And yes, I have a few dates set up for this week already. And so far they seem pretty nice & normal. First, though, I have a major paper due for my class--so no fun for me until Thursday. So I will ponder these questions & will go out this week & see what there is to see: frogs or princes.....
Being sick is no fun...I think I've said that before. But because I was sick I missed out on racing last night. I felt pretty awful having to tell my kid that we couldn't go. He was pretty recovered but I had a temperature & was alternating between shivering & sweating. I don't like grinding to a halt. I lose my momentum & usually it forces me to have to actually re-evaluate things in my life. Like actually think about my circumstances, etc. And when I'm sick, I usually don't think nice thoughts about myself. Instead of the glass half full which is my usual frame of mind, I tend to wallow in the half empty zone. I was determined not to go there because all it's been recently is the ongoing bleh-dating conundrum. And the still oft-quoted advice by well-meaning folk of "You have to be happy being alone first." This from people who have been married for years. Truth be--I am happy with myself--work in progress, but still I am VERY different from where I was even 1 year ago & am still moving forward. I wasn't racing a year ago, wasn't riding a year ago, not on the verge of earning my 2nd degree blackbelt a year ago...just because I don't have a partner in crime right now doesn't make me any less of a person. But even as I say this, and after a conversation with a co-worker who happens to be very pretty, way younger than me, & has no prospects either, we both agree that being alone at times sucks. Not all the time, but sometimes, & we are both SICK TO DEATH of people telling us to be ok with ourselves first. So it ain't just me.
I was moaning on my death-bed about the unfairness of not being able to race when I just happened on an HBO series that was pretty cool. Even if the setting happens to be right next to South Africa. Specifically, Botswana. The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency in case you haven't figured it out. It is way cool. In fact, my son started watching it as well & he became massively addicted too. Not only does it give a window into completely different culture than our own, but it puts things in perspective. What's important.
Update:
Racing on Saturday. I WILL be there. What's cool is I'm crewing on a boat that's racing against my Wednesday night boat. Very interesting....can't wait! Party afterward.....
Ah--Sunny Florida. Spent the long weekend near St. Petersburg, Florida. It was quite nice--my folks are being snowbirds & invited us down to visit with my step-sister & her family. We did have a great time but you gotta love single mom traveling.
The house my folks are living in is quite palatial but is a terrible waste of space. There were only 3 bathrooms & bedrooms in a house that could quite easily have the space for at least two more of each. My son & his cousin slept in the "tower"--an extra "room" at the top of the house-a little look-out space where my dad had put 2 blow-up mattresses. They loved it except that there wasn't a bathroom. They had to go all the way downstairs which may prove difficult if ya gotta go in the middle of the night. There is of course the master suite where my folks reside with the the nice bath & then the second bedroom with the double bed & the third bedroom with the deluxe twin beds. Where does the single gal sleep? Ah--you guessed! The very pink, very girly, princess room! There were huge gauze butterflies hanging from the ceiling. A stained glass window depicting graceful herons in the front, & words of encouragement painted in purple over the hot pink walls. It said, "Follow your dreams", "One step at a Time"....Aggh!! The beds were covered in hot pink silk bedspreads with purple pillows...Any single parent understands how sleeping arrangements work...You get the most embarrassing, & least convenient leftover sleeping arrangements because afterall--you ARE the single person & everyone else is a couple...remind me to find some man to go on vacay with me soon...yeesh--at least I didn't hang out in there too much.
It was great to be with my family & I do have a little suntan so I cannot complain too bitterly. It's also nice to get my mom's advice on niggling doubts & insecurities because when she's away I don't always have her practical wisdom to fall back on.
