Expansive

 I seem to be coming across a lot of good articles about how relationships continue to be positive over the long term.  This time I saw an article in the New York Times.   Written regarding marriages, I find it still applies to LTRs.  http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

It talks about "sustainable" love & how to attain that through improving yourself--but your partner is the one who helps "sculpt"  that growth.  According to the article by Tara Parker-Pope,    
"Research shows that the more self-expansion people experience from their partner, the more committed and satisfied they are in the relationship."  Does their partner encourage new experiences together?  Do they help the other person improve or do they have qualities the other lacks & help balance them out?  I've discussed this before more specific to my relationship--Xing Fu grounds me--he is a lot more practical than I am & helps pull me down to reality on occasion--not a bad thing.  I in turn, often help him to lighten up.  He also talks about how I come up with interesting & creative things to do together--all of these examples seem to be supported by the article.  Bodes well for the future.  

Sublime is the summertime warm and lazy
These are perfect days like heaven's about here
Unlike summer came and went your love is forever
I feel it and my heart knows that we share it together

Lyrics by George Harrison, Sung by Ben Bridwell

Your Love Is Forever 

Concurrence

A connecting principle

Linked to the invisible

Almost imperceptible                   
Something inexpressible
Science insusceptible
Logic so inflexible
Causally connectable
Yet nothing is invincible
--Synchronicity I, The Police

Another occurence of synchronicity happened yesterday--we often wonder how many times a day that actually happens, but in this case we both sent emails to one another at 8:37 AM.  I thought, "hmmm...this is a little freaky-deaky, but why am I surprised by this?"  It is our harmony & our connection & it is very real.  It is interesting to study, especially when looking at our differences.  At this point, we've come across a few & they are certainly part of learning each other--but as we take a closer look at those potential pit-falls, the baseline of that connectedness we have helps to craft those "pit-falls" into complimentary differences & opportunities for each of us to grow. 

Yeah, analysis of all of this seems a little much at times, but I think we both want to get it right--we feel that strongly.  And I see how many couples fail because they don't look at some of this stuff & blunder through opportunities to grow as individuals as well as a couple.  One huge difference is our approach to addressing conflict.  I tend to confront issues immediately--Xing Fu says that he tends to run from conflict.  I have found that when a person does not look at problems up front, they get much worse because they then get filtered through all kinds of perspective changers--and misperceptions tend to abound.  That's when hurt happens--yes, initially, there may be pain in confrontation, but it's over soon & the real work can begin.  I'm pretty sure that it has been far more productive for us because I do push a discussion through.  We have found that our connection has become that much stronger.  Thus the complimentary nature of our relationship in this particular aspect--

There are other areas we've discovered as well--he tends toward the more practical & I tend to be a lot more flighty--it's good to be pulled to the ground occasionally & believe me, I need it.  Letting go is yet another biggy....I'll talk about that one another time.  Until then, hitting the books & studying my heart out.