Surgery is no Fun

but you do find out who your friends are....

It truly sucks to be an active person & then have all the wind knocked out of your sails--to use a well-worn phrase. I guess I didn't realize how much of a literal sucker-punch this apparent minor surgery would be. On Wednesday I went in for out-patient fully expecting to be right back in the mix of the hustle-bustle of Thanksgiving, etc., but I've ended up being home & alone a great deal of this holiday, with an ice-pack on my belly & Percocet on the brain. Part of me enjoyed the hours of watching Sex & The City reruns (I think my favorite is Season 4, Episode 1), & the rest of me just wanted to get all this over with! But as I sat in bed contemplating my current state of affairs, I struggled with the inevitable feeling sorry for myself as well as being so thankful (the holiday word du jour) for the folks who texted me, IM'd me, called, & visited despite the demands of their own families. But through it all I just wished that for once there was one person who would just take care of me...sigh.

But I do enjoy my coterie & it has provided for an excellent diversion just before going under the knife--some of my men have provided some nice memories...& yes, I wouldn't have met these characters if I'd been involved with one person. Perhaps I'm channeling Samantha now--at least it's not a vast wasteland of tumbleweeds....still...


**The picture was taken by my cousin in honor of me--I asked her if I could now gain admission...

Experience Versus Youth

What can I say? Being single can sometimes have its perks. Earlier I posted about my new Cougar status but I really didn't say too much about what I've learned...certainly "Energizer Bunny" is a very apt description for my friend Salad & that is certainly fun & he is very appreciative, which is refreshing. But the young are always in a hurry....they miss out on the intricacies, the details, & the nuance. But I've been told that is my job. So we'll see. Needless to say it sparked quite a maelstrom from which I still reap the benefit.

What it did was to initiate a psuedo-competition of sorts. One of my other friends, Seamus--who is decidedly older than Salad & a Bad Boy of note, in fact much older than me, seemed spurred on to see which is better-- a well-seasoned man or a noob (Salad is definately NOT that, however). Hence the benefit to me. I'm the one who decides. Heehee...& believe me, I am NOT loathe to do that.

So this prompted a visit from my friend Seamus this weekend...

Did I say that being single sometimes has its perks?

Praying Mantis

Growl

It had to happen. I've joined the ranks of cougar. Am I proud of this accomplishment? Not so sure because it admits that I'm older than I think I am. But on the other hand, as Cougar Town has titillated the masses, and become fashionable, here I am poised on the edge of acceptance. One of my other male friends told me that he found a T-shirt for me. Uh-Oh!

Speaking of the devil--I just received a text from my young friend...I spoke of Salad last year I think--he's been after me for quite some time & up until now I've managed to evade him. But I fell in a blaze of peer pressure & my own curiosity...here is what I had to say last January:

I have a friend who's about 19 or 20 years old. I feel like I'm sort of a mentor to him--he's had a few problems figuring out how to be responsible so we talk about stuff. I'll call him Salad. For the past few months he's been coming over every once in a while to hang out a little. So the other day he sends me a text asking about my boyfriend & how things are going with him. I'm a bit puzzled by this because why should he care until he begins asking me questions about whether or not I'd be interested in a "different" kind of relationship with him. At which point I definitely get where he's going with this. I tell him that I'm flattered but why would he be interested in someone so much older than he is. He tells me that I'm cool to hang out with, pretty hot, and he is interested in expanding our friendship beyond just talking....how nice. But again I don't relish the idea of being a Cougar for him. Hmmmm, then again I hear 20 year olds are like the energizer bunny......

So there it is.....

Dream a Little Dream

Had the strangest dream last night--got me thinking about interpretation, etc. So here goes:

I was somewhere out with my sister & I apparently met two guys. Both seemed interested in me & I ended up talking to one that I knew wasn't right for me. The other one sort of faded into the background of my dream. Time passes--dreams & time are quite nebulous so who the frig knows if days, minutes or seconds had passed....anyway, the one guy apparently turned out to be a jerk or something--again dream vacuum, so I meet up with my sister again, must've been a party or something. Did I mention it took place next to the Chesapeake?--important bit of info for later.

So my sis tells me that Guy #2 told her that if I was ever interested in pursuing something with him he'd be waiting. He told her that he left me a little gold music box & if I went to get it & brought it to him he'd know I was serious. (how fairy-tale!) Turns out he'd put the box on a square dock with no access other than swimming off the shore about 500 yards or so. Apparently I'm game because I tell my sis that I'm off to get the music box. Details are so interesting in dreams--I had to climb over a low barbed-wire fence to get down to the water--there were very lush marsh grasses growing up around the fence & I could see the flowers, bees & insects buzzing around (I guess the setting was the summer...) as I climbed over the wire. I take off my shoes & dive into the water.

The Bay was glistening in the sun, no wind, calm & clear. As I near the platform, I begin to see huge, dark, reddish-brown hulks floating in the water, coming towards me. I can't figure out what they are until I reach the ladder to climb up. A big, beef carcass is floating closer & closer, followed by 100's more. They all begin to bump into one another and then into the platform. I barely scramble up onto the deck before they start floating around, under & surrounding the platform. I call out to my sister onshore that there are these carcasses that are fouling the bay & that she'd better watch out. I see the music box glittering in the sun, pick it up, but have no way to get back to shore....I wake up.

Murphy was Right

So the week from hell continued...I was having a perfectly lovely day with my BFF(J)--shopping for new make-up at the MAC counter at Nordtrom's & getting a mini makeover together & then onto the McDonogh-Gilman game--where BFF(A) met us. Her son goes to McDonogh and BFF(J)'s goes to Gilman. After the game, which Gilman won, we were off to wine tasting. This time another friend of ours, runner gal came along. Met up with SM too--the fates seemed to be shifting in my favor when all hell broke loose.

First, though, all the friends came back to my house for a little wine & some great cheeses I'd picked up at various places during the week. We were all sitting around my dining room table with a little Truchard 2005 Pinot when I got a pain that made me double over. I thought maybe it was a little gastrointestinal distress--HS game food is never good--but I'd only had a couple fries....

I went in my bedroom to lie down hoping the pain would go away, but it just increased. My friends did the best they could, offered to take me to Sinai Hospital, but I thought it would get better so I waved them off. For a couple of hours it did feel better, then the pain was absolutely excruciating--it burned and I felt like I had the chills as well. By this time it was about 1:30 AM & I was beginning to also get violently ill. That actually helped a bit & for a little while I thought I'd get better--mebbe a stomach virus or something--24 hr. thingy. But then I noticed a huge lump right next to my belly button--2 AM I knew I needed to go to the ER. Called my folks who offered to take me to Sinai (this hospital was obviously the choice du jour...). I knew that I needed to go way sooner than they could get to me & that if I went by ambo I'd be seen quickly instead of writhing in pain in front of a bunch of similarly adorned people.

I call 911 & the paramedics arrive just in time for me to start heaving all kinds of nasty from the depths of my stomach. (Thankfully my son was staying with my folks last night--he didn't need to see his mom in such obvious pain.) They tell me that Sinai is out of beds & chances are I'd need surgery so it was either Northwest Regional or GBMC. The plus about living in Baltimore is the dearth of hospitals--most of them quite good. So hmmm...GBMC it was. It was so quiet there when we arrived, & I was seen right away so I knew I'd made the right choice.

I was admitted pretty much right away & was told that I might need surgery straight away. MIGHT being the operative word...heh. I had a golf-ball size hernia that was making its nasty self known--I don't think I ever felt pain like I did then...but having surgery straight away? If I was going keel over then I'd get it done--I wanted to know my options. My BFF(J) needed to read the CT scan & I really couldn't afford to not go to work--this week will be a critical one! So the only mistake that GBMC made was that they told me that I was getting prepped for a 10 AM surgery. I never had any discussion with the surgeon--so I quickly said, "Nope. No way, not until I get all of the options explained." I must say however, that the folk there were great & the surgeon & I did talk--it wasn't critical that I have the surgery immediately so at least I can plan accordingly--but I must have it soon.

Ah..the next twist in the gut!

Argh!

Ever have one of those days? Actually, ever have one of those weeks, months, etc.? It has been an extremely frustrating & stressful time recently. I usually don't use this forum about work-related stuff for a variety of reasons but I'm just feeling so overwhelmed right now that a good vent may be just the thing I need. No Heart attack-ack-acks....just bad-tempered.

I seem to have bitten off more than I can chew--agreeing to chair a new team when I can barely tread water on the the team I was tasked to lead in the first place. Of course I want to do a good job & not do my second team half-assed but because I am so swamped, that's just what's happening...sigh. It sucks massively because I feel like I'm letting a ton of people down & I hate that.

Additionally, I'm supposed to have clerical assistance but that just ain't happening right now. THAT is a major problem as well--the clerical aspect is a job unto itself.

This is the first year where I've felt so stressed & over my head--I don't like it. Most folk don't like the job I do but I do, IEP Chair--I love my school, my team & my location & for the past three years I've thrived. I have felt extremely fortunate to be doing what I'm doing after so many years in the classroom--15 to be exact and a couple years as a principal too. Maybe it's because I have a caseload this year far larger than the previous years or maybe it's because we've been hit with a ton of referrals, & re-evals, or maybe....I just don't know..

Anyway, just came back from an intense taekwondo class & I feel better--energized & refreshed--I got to beat people up & even managed to kick a little ass along the way...tomorrow's a new day & quite possibly a better one...

Halloween

It was a good day & evening--one of those grateful for what you got kinda times. Started out with the usual TKD class & then my son's demo team practice. From there my BFFs & I dressed up as hippie-chicks. According to my son it wasn't much of a stretch--in fact my sis said the same thing--mebbe they're finally onto something... the three of us embraced the holiday (and also the free gift at one of the wine shops if you dress up...) My BFF(A) had go-go boots that Nancy Sinatra herself couldn't hold a candle to, & my BFF(J) wore tie-dye. I had a long velvet skirt with a peasant blouse & a scarf around my head. I also sported two long braids on either side of my face...My son decided to be a hippie as well--great 'fro with a bandanna around it, sunglasses, a Yellow Submarine tie-dyed t-shirt we bought at The Other Side in Towson, a big peace sign necklace & a tambourine. Can't forget the sandals as well.

Anyway, we planned to go to our favorite wine shops to sample as usual. I hadn't heard from SM so I was little bummed--we hadn't gotten together for our weekly dinner & I wasn't sure about wine-tasting. But finally I get a text in the morning asking me what time I'll get there. I told him & went about my business with my girlfriends. I go pick up my BFF(A) & we go over to the first place--they were sampling a great local vineyard's wines--Black Ankle--highly recommend them--they actually illustrate what Maryland wines can be....try Crumbling Rock in particular. But I digress--on my way to picking her up, I get a text from SM--he's over at the one store waiting for me--was I going to be there soon--he made sure that he was there when I told him I was planning to be there---that was very nice.

Onward to the next one--SM said he wasn't sure he'd be able to make it--his kids were waiting for him for Halloween--I understand completely. But he shows up & we try an amazing Pinot Noir from Acacia Vineyard--Lone Tree Vineyard--2005 Pinot Noir--simply amazing. My BFFs abandon me at the store & I'm left with SM--love my gals--they had it planned so we'd have some alone time together--sweeties!

Later, our boys had a Halloween party where all of the parents hung out--we all had pizza & the boys collected a TON of candy--I need to get rid of some of it--it was just over the top!

Overall it was a great time & not a bull or bear in sight like last year--funny how quickly things have changed...