Experience Versus Youth

What can I say? Being single can sometimes have its perks. Earlier I posted about my new Cougar status but I really didn't say too much about what I've learned...certainly "Energizer Bunny" is a very apt description for my friend Salad & that is certainly fun & he is very appreciative, which is refreshing. But the young are always in a hurry....they miss out on the intricacies, the details, & the nuance. But I've been told that is my job. So we'll see. Needless to say it sparked quite a maelstrom from which I still reap the benefit.

What it did was to initiate a psuedo-competition of sorts. One of my other friends, Seamus--who is decidedly older than Salad & a Bad Boy of note, in fact much older than me, seemed spurred on to see which is better-- a well-seasoned man or a noob (Salad is definately NOT that, however). Hence the benefit to me. I'm the one who decides. Heehee...& believe me, I am NOT loathe to do that.

So this prompted a visit from my friend Seamus this weekend...

Did I say that being single sometimes has its perks?

B-Cubed

So welcome to my 100th post! I have been sorta saving up a few things recently to put in the 100th post so I can make it a BIG DEAL....or something. As the overall theme of this blog has been primarily about my dating disasters, frustrations, or excitements, I wanted to make sure that this post contained all of that--there won't be a disappointment because--yes, I have had quite a ride recently & that's been both a good & a very frustrating thing. I haven't posted everything about last weekend until now because I needed time to think on it a bit & figure out just what I have been working through. There's a lot saved up--and this week may prove to be a multiple-post kinda week--last weekend to this weekend--both quite the trip.

The Bad Boy Bug--or B-cubed. I got it BAD. Yep, I am certifiable in this respect--the badder the better--After reflecting on my various men I am seeing quite the clear pattern: I am excited by the Bad Boys. Yes, I've touched on this theme before, but after this summer & last week's experiences, well it can't be too much clearer. Those "loveable assholes" as the Bull used to call himself set a fire for me & the nice guys--i.e. Mr. Trip to Amsterdam, do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sigh.

Last weekend I took my son racing with a man who is most definitely a Bad Boy. I gotta say--couldn't have been more romantic sailing in under the beautiful setting sun (see above), with a cup-o-wine, my son laying in the little belly that the main sail makes at the boom, and BB2 & I, shall I say delicately, enjoying each other's company while watching the sun set & the full moon with Jupiter rise. That was, without a doubt, one of my best experiences this summer--the entire weekend, really. Of course with any BB there is drama, & there certainly was drama--I will most probably recount that in another post because otherwise it will just take too long.

So Friday we sail into St Michael's & dock at a house with the most amazing family. They built their house entirely with a green purpose--all the way to the solar panels & waste disposal system. Even the beams that they used were recycled from an old barn. The tiles in the shower were hand-placed with a sea theme--little mirrors, sea glass, etc. I was very impressed--it was a beautiful house with a beautiful family--their two little girls were like sunshine--too good to be true but here they were with fresh sea bass cooked in an outdoor oven that the husband had just made, with a salad from their garden, cooked perfectly & waiting until we got in--about 8:30 that night. They had a boat that they'd be racing against us the next day. They were so inviting and made us feel so at home--there was another house on the property belonging to the grandmother but she was away & left the house for our convenience--shower, bathroom--my son slept in one of the bedrooms instead of on the boat. After dinner, we mosey back down to the boat & my son hangs up at the house. Realizing of course that there was a race the next day, we completely ignore this fact--full moon, gently rocking sailboat--I was awakened in the middle of the night....

I recounted the race in the last post so I don't need to go over it again except to say that the family whose house we docked took 1st & it was quite fitting that they did--it was well-fought & well-earned.

Sunday arrived & BB2 & I were up just after sunrise, sitting up in the house while my son slept in the back bedroom. I had taken to calling BB2 an asshole during the weekend--he absolutely loved that I called him this with all that it implied--it was funny but I didn't even think of the Bull--just of BB2 & how much he was a bad boy & how that excited me. While we were chatting, etc., BB2 saw bald eagles swooping down to the water trying to catch their breakfast--he wanted to make sure that I saw them so we walked outside & stood entwined, on the little bluff overlooking the water & waited. This is what so sucks about bad boys--they can be such great guys--romantic, talkative, & involved in life. I was thinking about Mr. Trip & how silent he was a lot of the time--I wanted to discuss the world with him & all he would do was sit. It made me somewhat uncomfortable. BB2 was engaging & loves to regale stories from his quite colorful life--a lot like another BB I know. Very soon the eagles returned--a juvenile & a full grown male--just an incredible sight. As I've said, the weekend was full of incredible experiences--of all the senses--one of the thank the universe kinds of times that makes you smile when re-living it.

The family invites us up to the house for peach pancakes--with local St Michael's organic coffee alongside. Such a nice send-off--when I got back to Baltimore I sent them Zeke's Coffee with t-shirts for everyone in the family--I was just so taken by them & their kindness. Sailing back was intense. BB2 gives my son the spinnaker to fly on the way--teaches him what to do & puts him on the foredeck, laying down, with his back to us. We sit in the cockpit--BB2 with his hand on the tiller, steering the boat and the other....feeling sun shining on my upturned face, the sound of the wind & other boats passing, I'm relaxed against BB2's chest, sailing across the bay--- Eventually my kid gets bored so I take over flying the kite until we get close to Bloody Point--where our course changes & we have to douse the chute. We wanted to catch some of the races of Annapolis Race Week & watch them round the mark & pop their chutes. I saw a few boats I race against & we sail up & down the line watching--very cool listening to BB2's discussion of some of the racing strategies he was observing--he is truly an excellent sailor--I have great respect for that.

I've been thinking about the rest of the weekend--our return to the marina, what BB2 said to me, the other folk around, & I think I need to think some more about it. Suffice it to say, I knew what I was dealing with walking into the weekend with this man. I knew that beyond a special friendship there would be nothing more--and that's ok. If anything else, my relationship with the Bull has helped me recognize the BBs out there & take them at face value. BB2 never misrepresented himself--he was always honest--I give him credit for that--at least in that respect he isn't a player--or mebbe he's an honest player. I do look forward to more times like this one--it was great fun!

More on this next time....

The Plight of the "Nice Guy"

Mr. Big: Hey, have you got a light?
Carrie: I quit.
Mr. Big: Aw, we always used to share a cigarette together.
Carrie: We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.

From: Sex & The City

SIGH....

I was so excited about this weekend. Two new guys, two new opportunities to find "the one". The Saturday one was very young--too young for me. I knew it going in but I figured it could be fun. It was fun but he just wasn't a keeper--in the words of Steve Harvey--he was a sport fish--gotta throw 'em back.

I had built up guy No. 2 as a real potential--and perhaps he will become that--I'm not ruling him out just yet--but he is a "nice guy" & I struggle with them. I just find myself making comparisons that just muddy the waters. We went to Lake Roland & had a picnic lunch with a nice bottle of wine (7 Deadly Zins). We had very good convo albeit sometimes on the serious side. I think there was chemistry--it was just not so "in your face". I liked this guy but again there wasn't the zing & the instant chills up my back that I got before. And as a result I felt myself holding back with this all or nothing thinking. I realize that I need to allow someone to grow on me--maybe the slow burn may be better than the instant ignition & engulfing flames. So frustrating. So disappointing. And even more: my missing someone, shedding more tears I swore I was finished with. That's the part that sucks--I don't give men a chance & then I start making comparisons & they all come up wanting & then I get sad & allow the sociopath more power again. Guy No. 2 deserves a second shot & I will attempt to alter my misguided views & see if a little compromise makes things a lil' bit less disappointing. Obviously I think this guy is more of a keeper fish or I wouldn't have wasted so much blog space--so maybe that's a good thing afterall....

But...

It's finally spring--more like summer! I can wear my fun clothes. I am going racing most weekends which is awesome. And out there somewhere is the guy...naughty & nice.

Perfectly Nice

Recently, back on the dating websites, I've met a few men & gone out on a few dates. They've mostly been real misses for various reasons but I remind myself that this could be an anthropological experiment if I choose to make this dating thing a "study". Most of the guys I've met recently & blogged about have been ok--not knock your socks off, but certainly "nice" in their own ways I suppose. Which bears some self-examination: the type of guy who has knocked the feet out from under me--most definitely they are bad boys--case in point is the sociopath. I am trying to rethink this a little, if we go back to the anthropological study aspect. I need to let the perfectly nice guys have a chance. I'm more than willing to write them off straight away because they don't immediately make my heart go pit-a-pat. And look where the bad boy has gotten me...

Which brings me to my date last night. It was very nice--he planned everything: dinner, music. Opened the door for me, made sure I was safely crossing the street (as I storm right into Annapolis traffic without batting an eye), picked up the tab everywhere, drove the entire night, never pressured for anything more than a goodnight hug & kiss, & was always quite attentive. I really liked him--we had great conversation. But there weren't those intense "I can't wait to rip off your clothes" feelings, just the "Hey, this is so nice not to have to think about anything, just enjoy". As my mom might say & has said before, "Keep an open mind. You aren't a teenager anymore. He may grow on you." And to top it all off--he is actually a man & not a Peter Pan--he takes care of his lady. Nice.