Pushing Back

• The connection between Cancer and Taurus is likely to be immediate - it’s almost as if one is a missing part of the other and they need to be reconnected. Straight away they will know how to interact with each other and will have no problems finding things to talk about.
• When Cancer and Taurus get together sparks will fly - in a good way. These two have a very strong physical desire for each other that’s hard for them to fight...but then why should they?
• These two complement each just fine - Taurus is likely to be able to bring some discipline and order to Cancer who simply wants to have fun. Cancer’s fun-loving attitude will bright a lot of light into Taurus’ life--

--Cancer-Taurus Compatibility



You know when you've got a great thing going & then you do something stupid?  I didn't go that far but I certainly could have.  But since our relationship has been very honest & open from the start, instead of making a bad choice, we talked. I am so happy that we feel comfortable enough & trust each other from the start.  I put the Cancer-Taurus compatibility there because it is so true--we've always thought about the "missing puzzle pieces" that we think that people are always seeking...reference to both Hedwig & the Angry Inch & the song "Such Great Heights".  The fact that the above excerpt brings that thinking to light just confirms things even more.  Which brings me to my specific point about being able to feel comfortable about talking about something that could have caused problems between us.

This past weekend Xing Fu was out of town & I was left to my own devices--not a bad thing but for some reason, I think I may have subconsciously missed my old single status.  I tend to be a bit flirty anyway & recently I've toned it down considerably for obvious reasons.  I think I missed it & so I may have encouraged a few guys that I needed to not encourage.  Nothing came of it but I felt a bit guilty.  That's the push back--me potentially sabotaging something amazing--in fact an old "friend" & I were planning on getting together this week while Xing Fu is away on business--kinda risky but here's where old patterns have changed--rather than hide it, I brought it up to talk about the whole thing.  I'm glad I did--it brought us closer together & we understand each other that much more--a very good thing.  Plus, we do trust one another--so he knows that nothing will happen to destroy something so good.  He also understands why I may be flirty--where that comes from--believe me, I so much prefer things the way they are now--the single thing--so done with it!  But that doesn't mean that a part of me mourns it just an eensy bit...


This week will be difficult while Xing Fu is away as I'll definitely miss him, but I am looking forward to Friday & the weekend as we are going to see Nada Surf & finally have a weekend that we can spend together--just us...wonderful.

It's The Little Things

Just say yes, 'cause I'm aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

I can feel your heartbeat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Just Say Yes--Snow Patrol




Last night I told Xing Fu that I thought my blog had lost a bit of readership...my thinking is that people desire a bit of schadenfreude here.  It's sad, but folk wanna hear about troubles in paradise & there aren't any, really.  I guess the only nasty would be the stuff he's going through (divorce) & how it spills over into us, but he does a great job of not making it a focal point.  Very important to keep that away from the center of our relationship--and we do, no matter how issues try to get in the way--I think the important part of this is the fact that we talk--about everything.  And we're 100% open about them as well.  Xing Fu said I should make up an issue to post to up my readership--something to titillate the masses...ha!  But frankly I like it this way.  It is easy.  I said that last night--we have had a few bumps in the road but as I said, we talk about them--the outcome of all of this is that it is easy to be with him--just like it is easy to be with my best friends--I don't have to be on eggshells, I can tell him anything & everything..we make each other smile--I catch him smiling at me quite a lot...it's the little things. 

Like dropping by my TKD school to watch me spar, calling me in the middle of the day to say hello.  Having a bet about the NCAA brackets--I'm losing so far.  Putting Spoon on the stereo because we're going to see them in concert very soon, even when it's March Madness.  Those are only a few of them--I think it has to do with attentiveness.  He is good to me & everyone says I'm glowing...still.  And I don't care if my readership is down!