Holiday Frustrations

Horoscope for Today from MSN:
"Love matters might appear to be moving far more slowly than you'd like, dear Cancer. Both you and your current romantic interest may be overloaded with other responsibilities for now and might not be able to see much of each other. It's frustrating, but you'll get through it. In the meantime, don't let your insecurities get the best of you. Just because your friend is busy doesn't mean that your relationship is totally on the rocks. Be patient!"

Sometimes these horrible-scope things actually make sense. Whenever the Bull needs to tell me bad news, he always texts me rather than calling. So I knew something was up when in the middle of my school holiday luncheon, I see that he's texted me. "So cocktails is on? Remind me when? I don't think I can do New Year's. Son & family. Please don't apply pressure. I would do it if I could." Cocktails refers to Christmas Day eve. I have a big & fancy shindig to attend near the Bull in Bethesda. One of my mom's best friends is an amazing caterer & has this party every year--this is the first year I've been invited so it's huge. I should be happy that I at least get one of the big holidays with him, right? Why am I so disappointed then about New Year's? And like my horoscope says--don't let insecurities get the best of me--which they are... I want to take the Bull at what he says, but those niggling doubts linger & so here I am questioning everything again. And what pressure? What am I going to do--be pouty & truculent so as to ruin things further? No, I'm locked into accepting without voicing disappointment so I'm not misconstrued as being pushy or whiney. This is the exact type of situation that leaves me on the fence with my relationship with the Bull. I don't like not knowing or feeling insecure in where we are--and feeling unable to really tell him how I feel about it without negative repercussions. I'll have to wait until well after the event to discuss it with him & by then, of course, because that's his intent, it won't be as big a deal to me anymore.

There it is: Be patient (according to my horoscope), enjoy the 25th & suck it up! I now don't have a date for New Year's--and I've admitted it on my blog too!