Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Plight of the "Nice Guy"

Mr. Big: Hey, have you got a light?
Carrie: I quit.
Mr. Big: Aw, we always used to share a cigarette together.
Carrie: We did a lot of things that were bad for me together.

From: Sex & The City


I was so excited about this weekend. Two new guys, two new opportunities to find "the one". The Saturday one was very young--too young for me. I knew it going in but I figured it could be fun. It was fun but he just wasn't a keeper--in the words of Steve Harvey--he was a sport fish--gotta throw 'em back.

I had built up guy No. 2 as a real potential--and perhaps he will become that--I'm not ruling him out just yet--but he is a "nice guy" & I struggle with them. I just find myself making comparisons that just muddy the waters. We went to Lake Roland & had a picnic lunch with a nice bottle of wine (7 Deadly Zins). We had very good convo albeit sometimes on the serious side. I think there was chemistry--it was just not so "in your face". I liked this guy but again there wasn't the zing & the instant chills up my back that I got before. And as a result I felt myself holding back with this all or nothing thinking. I realize that I need to allow someone to grow on me--maybe the slow burn may be better than the instant ignition & engulfing flames. So frustrating. So disappointing. And even more: my missing someone, shedding more tears I swore I was finished with. That's the part that sucks--I don't give men a chance & then I start making comparisons & they all come up wanting & then I get sad & allow the sociopath more power again. Guy No. 2 deserves a second shot & I will attempt to alter my misguided views & see if a little compromise makes things a lil' bit less disappointing. Obviously I think this guy is more of a keeper fish or I wouldn't have wasted so much blog space--so maybe that's a good thing afterall....


It's finally spring--more like summer! I can wear my fun clothes. I am going racing most weekends which is awesome. And out there somewhere is the guy...naughty & nice.


Incognito said...

Empathizing with your struggle; maybe it would help to remember that sometimes the chills can come from someone deadly as well as exciting. Labeling all dates as potentially "the one" may also be detrimental--too much pressure and not allowing yourself just to enjoy. Good luck.

P.S. I bought Gary a "racing weekend" on a catamaran on a lake in North Carolina for sometime in the summer--hope this will get him back in the groove a bit, too. Your sailing stories inspired that; thanks.

Sailorgrl21 said...

I'm so glad! I love that people take a hint from something I might do--good, that is. I have to say that I'm thrilled to be racing again. The only drawback is the small-ish nature of the racing community. I will be on the West River on Wednesday--the same place as a certain other person is known to frequent on a regular basis in the spring & summer. This concerns me a little bit--I'm not ready to see him right now.