Thursday, May 14, 2009

Finally, I Breakthru

Being sick is no fun...I think I've said that before. But because I was sick I missed out on racing last night. I felt pretty awful having to tell my kid that we couldn't go. He was pretty recovered but I had a temperature & was alternating between shivering & sweating. I don't like grinding to a halt. I lose my momentum & usually it forces me to have to actually re-evaluate things in my life. Like actually think about my circumstances, etc. And when I'm sick, I usually don't think nice thoughts about myself. Instead of the glass half full which is my usual frame of mind, I tend to wallow in the half empty zone. I was determined not to go there because all it's been recently is the ongoing bleh-dating conundrum. And the still oft-quoted advice by well-meaning folk of "You have to be happy being alone first." This from people who have been married for years. Truth be--I am happy with myself--work in progress, but still I am VERY different from where I was even 1 year ago & am still moving forward. I wasn't racing a year ago, wasn't riding a year ago, not on the verge of earning my 2nd degree blackbelt a year ago...just because I don't have a partner in crime right now doesn't make me any less of a person. But even as I say this, and after a conversation with a co-worker who happens to be very pretty, way younger than me, & has no prospects either, we both agree that being alone at times sucks. Not all the time, but sometimes, & we are both SICK TO DEATH of people telling us to be ok with ourselves first. So it ain't just me.

I was moaning on my death-bed about the unfairness of not being able to race when I just happened on an HBO series that was pretty cool. Even if the setting happens to be right next to South Africa. Specifically, Botswana. The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency in case you haven't figured it out. It is way cool. In fact, my son started watching it as well & he became massively addicted too. Not only does it give a window into completely different culture than our own, but it puts things in perspective. What's important.

Update:
Racing on Saturday. I WILL be there. What's cool is I'm crewing on a boat that's racing against my Wednesday night boat. Very interesting....can't wait! Party afterward.....

5 comments:

Incognito said...

Maybe you can find out what their strategies are for your OTHER team!

Incognito said...

You know I'm kidding, right? I'm sure there's some sort of sailor's honor code that you must adhere to as part of the teams. Hope today is finding in better health.

rkeats said...

Blah, blah, blah...stop feeling sorry for yourself! You are in a different (WAY) place than you were last year and you are a different person too. Now, stop focusing on being alone because from the way that I see it, you are constantly surrounded by folks. You are just not focussing on all of the amazing people around you and missing the forest from the trees. You are doing all of the right things and good things are coming. Like a large boat, it takes time for the boat to come about. Give the boat time to react to the tiller.

Men are good company (sometimes) but they can be a bore, whiny, stubborn and a major PIA (just like women can.) You are doing it--all of it. Now, drink your chicken soup (aka Jewish penicillin) and stop wallowing. Get your ass out of bed, take a shower, put on some makeup and go get your nails done for God's sake. (Because you probably look like hell!)

When you are done doing that, please tell me where I can get some sailing gloves. Our 32 foot Hunter is bound to give me blisters if I don't get some. (and BTW, the sailing out here is fabulous...) I love you and please call me soon. I am so lonely in my coupehood, you know?

rkeats said...

Did I mention that my blog site is www.windycitymomma.com but I have not posted much yet because I have been too busy dealing with my, um, family this week. Check it out if you have a moment. And get your ass out of bed!

Sailorgrl21 said...

HAH!!
Thanks for all your ongoing advice--both of you! O--I intend to watch my other boat closely since we are in the same perf class.

Renee--go to West Marine online or if you want to, check out Annapolis Performance Sailing or Fawcetts. I have a fairly decent pair of Gills I picked up from west marine. You aren't racing so all you need are crew gloves--nothing too fancy so relatively inexpensive so actually WM is prolly the cheapest.

I will check your blog--of course I will link to it as well!

We'll talk soon--gotta race to get ready for...