Friday, February 10, 2012

Make Me Wanna Gag!

In honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day & because I am an incurable romantic, I've been trolling the 'net for advice. Plus, Xing Fu & I have been accused of being that couple that makes you want to gag...yeah, you know the type. In fact, when I got home from work this afternoon there was a box waiting for me of 12 very large & beautiful chocolate-dipped strawberries.  Yum!   I am unapologetic for my behavior--I really hope that we are still that way in 30 years too...just sayin'.  So here is advice that I found that highlights those nonverbals. This is from the following web site:

I know I've written about this one in the past:  touching is everything.  "... touch telegraphs affection faster than words do. Thank your brain and your skin's abundant nerve endings for why touch feels so nice. The emotional brain "gets" touch communication more immediately than it understands words, which have to be processed first through the speech centers, says David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.
"If seeing is believing, touching is knowing," he says."  But this touching does fade as the relationship continues--so kissing in the morning & other times, holding hands when watching TV, or in the car are all ways to reconnect quickly. 

The article also talks about being in sync with one another--doing things together--taking a walk, or in our case while going geocaching, etc., we tend to fall into stride with each other.  According to the article it is "mirroring" behavior--a common courtship ritual--it says further that we tend to unconsciously imitate one another when we feel close.  "Couples do this unconsciously all the time: Watch a pair who are flirting. Social scientists call this "synchrony" -- simultaneous action – when members of a social pair match their behaviors. "It's a strong way of being alike," Givens says."

There are a few others in the article--all very good suggestions but I close with this one: Small, everyday gestures of connectedness.
"Those small gestures don't have to be store-bought tokens; they can take the form of a daily catch-up with a traveling lover, the everyday loving gestures you show a spouse -- making the bed first, bringing him coffee, scraping ice from her car in the morning."
Even though I received a very nice gift this afternoon & I truly appreciate it (although I will need a lot of help consuming them), it is the small, caring gestures that I think about the most.  Like bagels in the morning.   

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