Showing posts with label Valentine's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Valentine's Day. Show all posts

Friday, February 10, 2012

Make Me Wanna Gag!

In honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day & because I am an incurable romantic, I've been trolling the 'net for advice. Plus, Xing Fu & I have been accused of being that couple that makes you want to gag...yeah, you know the type. In fact, when I got home from work this afternoon there was a box waiting for me of 12 very large & beautiful chocolate-dipped strawberries.  Yum!   I am unapologetic for my behavior--I really hope that we are still that way in 30 years too...just sayin'.  So here is advice that I found that highlights those nonverbals. This is from the following web site: http://www.caring.com/articles/5-surprising-actions-that-show-love?utm_medium=partner&utm_source=msn

I know I've written about this one in the past:  touching is everything.  "... touch telegraphs affection faster than words do. Thank your brain and your skin's abundant nerve endings for why touch feels so nice. The emotional brain "gets" touch communication more immediately than it understands words, which have to be processed first through the speech centers, says David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.
"If seeing is believing, touching is knowing," he says."  But this touching does fade as the relationship continues--so kissing in the morning & other times, holding hands when watching TV, or in the car are all ways to reconnect quickly. 

The article also talks about being in sync with one another--doing things together--taking a walk, or in our case while going geocaching, etc., we tend to fall into stride with each other.  According to the article it is "mirroring" behavior--a common courtship ritual--it says further that we tend to unconsciously imitate one another when we feel close.  "Couples do this unconsciously all the time: Watch a pair who are flirting. Social scientists call this "synchrony" -- simultaneous action – when members of a social pair match their behaviors. "It's a strong way of being alike," Givens says."

There are a few others in the article--all very good suggestions but I close with this one: Small, everyday gestures of connectedness.
"Those small gestures don't have to be store-bought tokens; they can take the form of a daily catch-up with a traveling lover, the everyday loving gestures you show a spouse -- making the bed first, bringing him coffee, scraping ice from her car in the morning."
Even though I received a very nice gift this afternoon & I truly appreciate it (although I will need a lot of help consuming them), it is the small, caring gestures that I think about the most.  Like bagels in the morning.   

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

V-Day

Last year we were brand new & my feet never touched the ground.  This year I'm happy to say that even though my feet have found the solid earth, I am still glowing.  For Valentine's Day I made reservations at Miss Shirley's which is open usually only for breakfast & lunch but makes an exception for Valentine's.  They have a great menu & I thought it would be nice to celebrate there.  My BFF(A) & her husband joined us & we had a wonderful dinner.  Before dinner Xing Fu brought me a dozen long stemmed red roses--I am a sucker for roses--actually usually any flowers, but these were quite beautiful.  No stuffed animals in sight.  I had painted him a little picture of some sailboats which I gave to him & had pasted a copy of e.e. cumming's poem entitled "yes is a pleasant country".  That poem has always meant a lot to me--pretty sure I've posted it on the blog too.    It was a wonderful evening--we are lucky.  

Today I came across the following article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=25751528&gt1=32092  How Do You Know When You're In Love.  I really liked what it had to say (not just about being married--again, this applies to LTRs as well) & reminded me of how I often think about Xing Fu in that way.  The downside from the article: I don't ever want to get to the point where I only tolerate him...if that ever happens, it will be time for us to part ways.  I honestly can't think of when that will happen and that is a good thing.  But I was struck by what the author had to say about the Scottish couple he stayed with--how long they'd been in love & the seemingly "little things" that kept them connected.  Saying goodbye for example--that longing, however small, to be with the one you love.  Or wanting the person you are with to be happy--seeing their joy & it then being wrapped up in your own sense of well-being & happiness.  Being in the presence of the love of others & appreciating that. 

It truly was a weekend & Valentine's Day for the record books--been a long time coming. 

"You don't know. And I don't know. You have to look for yourself. Measure carefully and you'll almost always be right."

Monday, February 15, 2010

Valentine's Day


I am so predictable. Of course I would post about Valentine's Day this year. Last year I escaped to the Princess Room because I knew that my Valentine's Day with the Bull would be a bust. I was so right about that. This year was the complete opposite...I made a great dessert which was very appreciated on many levels & I spent it with my uncommon & exciting BF who seems to make me sing whenever he is over...I am a lucky chickie--I say this a lot, I know. But it is what I feel & reflecting on past Valentine's Days brings up the feelings of gratitude I have for the Universe....

Valentine's Day when you are single can really suck! As I've indicated, the last few years I've escaped to Florida to visit my folks during VD weekend because the thought of being at home without anyone was just so depressing. In fact, I've noticed that a few folks on Facebook have had similar sentiments. What concerns me is the depth of some of the pain they've put out there. Even in the height of my anti-Valentine's Day sentiments, I never hit rock bottom or held out that a lost love would come back, or advertise a horrid break-up (other than on this blog--but I don't think anyone could accuse me of being deeply depressed as a result). I don't know their full story of course but I hope that they're getting some therapy....We single gals always talk about how sucky VD is when there's no one & of course Sex & The City talks about it as well as the new Valentine's Day movie, which I saw on Friday--cute fluff but predictable of course. My point to all this is: yeah, I know I am blessed with a great guy now, but I wasn't always, & so I am truly grateful for what has come my way. All of my friends say that I deserved to be happy & I am--almost deliriously so, but been there, done that & I appreciate what others are going through now. It will get better! Positive attitude speaks volumes--that's what I think I had going for me all of the time--that I never gave up hope & always looked to the future.