Sailing Into Year Three

When I stop & think about where I am from three years ago, I almost can't believe it. At that time I went from being a single mom with a crazy dating life to being for all intents & purposes married with a stepfamily.  Yikes!  Did it happen really fast or is it just my impression of it? On the left is the card that I gave to Xing Fu--so representative of who we are as a couple(except I ask, where is the pole for that kite??)  Inside it says, "The adventure continues..." That too is representative of us.  It has definitely been quite the adventure from when we first sailed together down on the West River to now--sailing off into the uncharted waters of being a "blended family". It hasn't always been smooth waters (to continue this sailing/water metaphor), choppy to be sure & occasionally gale force winds--to be quite honest, this relationship has been one of the hardest things that I've worked at in my life.  I think that is a good thing though--my commitment to what we're building together is what drives me & the thought of sailing off into the sunset together at some point in the future.... This post is dedicated to Xing Fu--I feel so lucky to have met you & that you have chosen me to spend your life with.  I wouldn't trade it.  143

Lucky! Part II

"Behind bad luck comes good luck."  

--from a fortune cookie I had on Friday night

When I wrote my last blog post about being lucky, I never realized how true that theme would follow throughout the weekend...

Our plan for Friday was to go have dinner in Chinatown down in DC & then go to the 9:30 Club to see Nada Surf.  Funny again how things come full circle.  The last time I saw Nada Surf was with the Bull & we also ate dinner (actually late night @ 1:30 AM) at one of the best authentic Chinese restaurants in DC called Full Kee on H Street.  First lucky was finding on-street parking rather quickly--it was hopping on Friday--I think everyone & his brother was out enjoying the warm night.  When we got to the restaurant there was a bit of a line & we became concerned that by the time we were seated  & eating, we might miss the 10:30 start for Nada Surf.  Luckily, the line moved rather quickly & we were soon seated in a relatively quiet back corner with the requisite Chinese Zodiac place mats.  We immediately looked to see if we were compatible.  Xing Fu is a Rabbit & I am a Sheep & of course we are the most compatible--do I need to say anything more?  Having done a bit of research, I knew what to order that would yield the best results.  The outstanding dish was the Oyster Casserole--the oysters were plump & HUGE and the delicate fresh ginger sauce was amazing.  It was a great dinner & we agreed to go back again.  Out the door & on our way to the 9:30 Club--we made it, found great floor spots, & the band started 5 minutes later--LUCKY.  It was a great show--enjoyed hearing the songs that I know so well & they can really rock during their live show--At the end of the show, the drummer threw out one drumstick & lucky as the theme has been, Xing Fu caught it!  That night we stayed up talking almost until sunrise--we just have so much to talk about--it is amazing that there are so many levels that we connect on.


Saturday was another beautiful & jam-packed day.  We decided to go to Cylburn for a picnic before wine tasting with BFF(A).  Cylburn was simply delightful & we shared a nice white wine with prosciutto di parma, strawberries, cheese & crackers to go alongside.  It was so nice just to enjoy the sun, we had briefly thought about finding a spot along the water as we are both jonesing for a sail, especially since the weather was so perfect & racing season is so close; we were missing the water.  After our picnic, we swing by & pick up my BFF(A) for winetasting.  We then were having dinner all together & watching the Final Four games--of course with a careful eye on the WV-Duke game.  It was a packed day & very nice evening & the luck continued with the teams going on to the championship--my bracket looks pretty good right about now despite so many upsets...


On Sunday, we parted for most of the day as we both had much to accomplish before the work week & my son was coming home after a busy weekend himself.  BFF(A) & I decided to be ladies of leisure, relaxing outside in the sun & reading magazines--always a rare occurrence.  It was nice to have girlfriend time & not have to worry about anything--our boys were out riding bikes & helping her husband do yard work.  Later, Xing Fu came back for dinner & our busy weekend ended.


Xing Fu & I realized that Luck did figure prominently all weekend--all I can say is that I am lucky to have found such a great guy--we really are great compliments to each other & everyday that becomes clearer.

Lucky!

to make a mountain of
your life is just a choice
but i never learned enough
to listen to the voice that told me
always love
hate will get you every time
always love
don't wait til the finish line

slow demands come around
squeeze the air and keep the rest out
it helps to write it down
even when you then cross it out

--Nada Surf  Always Love 


Xing Fu always seems to know when I need some reassurance & he always knows exactly what to say--he told me today that he was lucky--lucky to be with me & lucky to have met me, etc.  I needed to hear that.  But I am the lucky one--This is a man who catches the red-eye & gets home a day earlier after being away on business for most of the week (my mom said that action exceeds her expectations of a great BF), seems to intuitively say what I'm thinking, & makes me feel so cherished.  I know I sound a little over the top but I've waited one hell of a long time to be treated in a way that I should--I only hope that I am exceeding his expectations.  In 20 years I hope I can still feel the way I do--hell, in 30 years!  

Lucky me--looking at a few of my friends' recent Facebook posts--they're looking for their Prince Charmings & so far they're still kissing the frogs like I was.  I keep reassuring them that if I have been lucky (& is it luck? karma? fate?  another question to ponder in the future), they will as well--have hope & maybe read a bit of Lori Gottlieb's book as well as think about not wasting time on the losers who don't treat you right--a la He's Just Not That Into You.  My good friend MAC seems to have followed that advice & is currently snuggling up to a man who also treats her like gold so she knows exactly how I feel too.   One of the points that I like from Gottlieb's book is that she says that single women needn't fall for that old line of being great on their own--if you want a partner for the rest of your life then why shouldn't you?  It's not a weakness.  That was a freeing statement for me--I used to operate under the incorrect assumption that the mere fact that I wanted to share my life with someone was a weakness.  Lucky it ain't. 

Jettisoned!

Well, maybe not jettisoned but certainly changed.

I decided that I no longer wanted to be involved with my guys beyond a friendship--

I made that decision last week even before Xing Fu & I actually discussed it--I just don't want to be involved with them in that way anymore. I just knew.

So how do I let these guys down? It was a little dicey for me--I really liked all of them & didn't want to lose their friendships but was prepared if I did.

I must admit that it's nice to have a few to tell as opposed to none to tell...nice for the ego to be honest.

Overall they were all very cool with it--still wanting to "hang out" & be friends--for this I am glad because I enjoy my friendships with them & certainly didn't want them to end--just become a different incarnation. Seamus seemed very happy for me--I have a bit of a bittersweet feeling with him but I know we'll still be close friends--just the way we are. SM also was cool--& he did know something was up last week at wine tasting..he also felt that it had been unfair to expect me to continue to wait for him. So as I said, very cool guys--and they're still my friends--I have to say I'm grateful for their continued friendships as over the past months as they certainly have enhanced my life.

My feet still haven't touched down....