Sunday, March 8, 2009

if he's sleeping with another woman......

"But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up."

"You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

--Gigi from He's Just Not That Into You

One of my girlfriends took me to see this movie today against her better judgement. The quotes above represent some of the things I identified with when I heard them. The first one because of the future. The second one because that's how I believe things are for the Bull. I wanted to see it because not only had I read the book shortly after my divorce, but I really wanted to see what situations would arise. I did not get upset, I did not cry, although I've done a lot of that this past week, I just realized that what's happened to me is part of the hope. It is a process & I will rise from the ashes again.

My girlfriends have been amazing this week & weekend. Checking up on me, occupying my time, wine tasting of course, allowing me to cry & not saying "I told you so." Although most of them did say that they never trusted him. People may ask why I'd cry with the situation being the way it was. I think I mourn the loss but also I think about how so many lives were affected by this man's reckless approach to being in a relationship(s). I had been receiving texts from him about taking down this blog--but one of the last ones he sent said the following: "So now you've won." How have I won? Against everyone's advice to have no contact with him, I sent the answer & what I truly believe: "We all lost....."

1 comment:

Incognito said...

"So now you've won" was his last remark? Just shows how shallow and empty this person is to think of a relationship as a contest. But then, from what I know from lots of research into this personality type, it is not unusual. They HAVE to win at everything, whether it's stupid little popularity contest or, in this case, to walk away relatively unscathed from a damaging relationship. Sorry, he can't do that anymore; you've busted him and while he may tread lightly for a while, he'll fall right back into the same routine until he gets busted again. These people cannot change and cannot BE changed.

The fact that he takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions just proves what I said in an earlier post. Hang in there; you've already shown an amazing strength and resiliency. You will end up in a good place. This is just a small part of the journey.