Man & Mulderbosch

Ever since my divorce I've bought wine. At first it was the "Two Buck Chuck" kind & then I moved on to the Yellowtail types. Soon after I started working for BCPS(S) I expanded my wine collection beyond the baseline--not because my job drove me to drink mind you, just because there was a great little wine store right near my school. I began to read the magazines for the best values & found that a good Pinot Noir was all that was needed to make me quite happy. Now I think I have a "cellar" that can hold its own--from decent Chardonnays to Vouvrays to a lovely local Cabernet Franc from Boordy. What is the absolute best thing about my wines is the fact that now my BFFs appreciate them at least as much as I do & look forward to our Best Friend's Wine Tasting every Saturday. Now however, I have wines in my house that I need to drink--they are reminders that I do not want & make me sad. As I was drinking a glass of Man Pinotage 2006 this evening, trying to erase its existence without wasting it, (it really is quite good by the way), I couldn't help thinking about certain people. Yes, I know, but....

My mind wandered a bit thinking what if I had gotten back with him--what would that look like? Maybe for a month things would have been wonderful--I imagine a level of attentiveness that would have been beyond what I'd experienced before--I would be ecstatic & on the clouds....Would've gone to see Ozomatli most likely. But, like the last episode of Ugly Betty where all of the girls in the bar have numbers on their chests indicating which lover they were from 1 to 159, & they all whispered in Matt's ear, as soon as a call went unanswered or he showed up late, or he disappointed me in even a minor way, I would be on the edge of crazy-woman again. I don't like myself that way at all. I would always be suspicious of him--where he was, what he was doing when we weren't together--it would make me so anxious & on edge. Never trusting him completely. Always asking questions. I couldn't live my life with him that way....which is why I won't.