Monday, March 1, 2010

What a Difference

A year makes.  

Last March....was hell right from the beginning.  We received the only real snow of the year that second of March & that was the day I shoveled my entire lot plus my neighbor's because I was just so pissed.  That was the day that at long last my time with the Bull came to an abrupt & needed end.  Looking back on that relationship I can see what not to tolerate.  But because it was my first long-term relationship after my marriage I didn't understand that I deserved to be treated waaaay better.  I get it now...and thanks to the Bull for that--yup, I am thanking him for getting out of the way.  Did he break my heart?  Yesterday Xing Fu asked me this question.  I paused for a while to give it some answer was that I wasn't sure, perhaps.  I think I truly believed I was in love with him but....even from the start I knew that I never saw a future with the Bull as much as I really wanted to---so I always held a part of me back.  So, in answer, no...not heartbroken--just a bit battered & bruised....

The universe works in funny ways...I sit here happily a year later knowing full well that all of that angst has paved the way for I what I truly believe is right.  And am I holding anything back?  Nope, no way!  The level of respect is front & center...I am treated like gold.  When the Bull claimed last year that he "Got me", all I can say now is "Yeah!  Right! What a raft of...."  Getting me is who's got me now...sometimes a little freaky how close we are; but always wonderful.  Karma.

1 comment:

Incognito said...

I'd like to begin by offering my thanks to you for allowing me to be a small part of your journey this year; you'd done some amazing work and gained a lot of ground in what had seemed a really crappy situation.

The happiness you're feeling now is most likely doubled by the pain you felt in the past, and yes, we all can be thankful to those who misused our kindness and love to their own ends because we are the ones who came out better people because of it. Growing in the right direction, sista!!! Peace and love to you.