I had a very interesting weekend--took/taking a couple days to process & I think it was overall a good one. Xing Fu's dad & stepmother came in from Texas to spend the weekend with Xing Fu, his kids, me, & my son. Talk about blending a family. It was the first time that they met me & my son--that was nerve-wracking just by itself. But it was a learning experience to be sure. It was also good to learn a little bit about the father of the man I am planning to spend the rest of my life with. I can say that he is spartan (an austere air about him) in his approach--I think Xing Fu is as well--this is not necessarily a criticism--but I see that he comes by it honestly. I think I am still processing that a bit--but the time spent with everyone was a good one & my son made me proud by being affable & genuinely involved.
On Sunday, we drove down to DC to visit Xing Fu's oldest at college--we needed two cars so I had one of his kids on the way down & both on the way back (my son was with his aunt (my former sister-in-law)). We had lunch, visited the campus & drove back. It was a very nice afternoon & I think everyone enjoyed the time together. Later, we would all have dinner together including my kid. But first he had to come back from his aunt's house--he had spent Sunday at her boyfriend's music shop--he just loves going there & playing all of the guitars. So I asked my former SIL if she'd drop him off at Xing Fu's place. She said sure & now we have a convoluted mess of a mishpocheh...My ex's sister, my son, & Xing Fu's kids, dad & stepmom. It is kinda cool--my former SIL knows Xing Fu & now his dad & his kids--how strange is that? My mom says that it's a good thing that everyone is willing & interested to be involved with one another--mebbe eventually I'll get to know Xing Fu's ex's family too--it would be nice if everyone figured it all out & developed a positive relationship--if my SIL, Xing Fu, & I can do this, (and my parents who are also quite fond of my SIL), then I think we all can. That is my hope for the future--that all of the sides of the families can spend time together in some capacity.
"..Today you are a fountain pen."
This could have been a very difficult time for Xing Fu as well--meeting so many of my family & friends all at once & being there for me as I stress out royally--he was just amazing--I am a very lucky gal--very interactive--genuinely interested & involved with my family & friends--in one word--engaging. It was asking a lot to have to deal with everyone all at once & many people approached me later to say how nice he was & how obviously devoted he was to me & my son. And he was with us from start to finish--the entire "ordeal"(said with a grin). We just get better & better together--
There are a few folk out there waiting to hear about the ex-factor (in fact some people check my blog almost 10 times daily to see if I've posted) & I wouldn't dream of letting them down. Certainly interesting to have him there--he even said to me that he was being well-behaved--he was--credit for that--I spoke to him, was cordial & even friendly--introduced Xing Fu & they even had a chat. I asked Xing Fu later if my ex had any dire warnings for him about me...but in all honesty the physically attractive man I married was not there anymore(even his blue eyes looked tired & lackluster--no spirit or spark behind them)--it was rather sad & the comparison most of my friends & family made between Xing Fu & the ex was telling. Xing Fu is a few years older than my ex & my ex looked twice his age...was the first comment. One of my co-workers remarked to me, "What were you thinking???!! You were married to that? I can't even imagine that!" I replied that he didn't look remotely like that when we were married--time has not been kind. But..this is only a part--I wondered what he thought of his son--he certainly contributed little to nothing to helping him get to this day--doesn't really know our son anymore--he used to claim that our son was autistic...not with the social skills he displayed on Saturday! Did he sit out in the seats thinking that he had nothing to do with this amazing kid leading the congregation so easily; that his own child was a bit of a stranger to him? Was he sad about the loss? Did he even care? I'm sure he was proud but he can't claim any responsibility, really--sperm donation & a few years. He was a good father to our child early on but now he can't really claim true fatherhood. He could have chosen to be more involved, but instead my son is like a stranger in many ways. Sad. (Hope I've satisfied the stalkers out there)
All I can say is that it was a weekend that will be a cherished memory for me. I am a very proud & happy "mather" as my son calls me.
(Summit 35) (Ericson 27)
I went to the US Sailboat Show on Sunday & decided that I want this boat. I really loved the look of it--the fact that it's a cruiser-racer is a huge plus. Unfortunately the base price of $250K sorta nixes the whole thing. Ah well--a girl can dream, can't she? Of course the Ericson is most probably what I will end up with at some point. Which is OK since I know that boat inside & out. Well, the Ericson 35 but what's a few feet between boats? Plus Ericsons are just old classic cruiser-racers so I can turn it into what I want too.
The great part about the show was hanging out with my cousins. They have a business & had a booth at the show. We don't get to see each other that often & we had a blast--of course free Gin drinks & a Painkiller certainly added to the fun. We hopped on & off some pretty amazing sailboats, um...yachts--mind-boggling luxuries. I looked at a few new lasers for my kid--radial--not even remotely ready for a full rig. I think an older laser may be the way to go--one that's been well broken-in for now. It was just a lot of fun & I think my son & I will become regulars. Again a tradition passed down from my grandfather. He used to take me every year.
I didn't race this weekend but it was a full one nonetheless. Thursday was dinner with SM--we made a brilliant Thai Salmon dish together & had a blast in the kitchen. I think kitchen compatibility is a very good sign. He told me that he had an amazing time so I'm cautiously optimistic & it looks like Thursdays may be a regular thing for now--I hope. Saturday was wine tasting with the BFFs & at night I went to listen to music at Ramshead Live--great show--not what I tend to go listen to but it was cool.
After driving home from Annapolis Sunday night, I sat on my bed thinking about what a great weekend it had been spending time with friends & family. Grateful.
Maybe I need to change my blog focus....or not. Actually I've recently been very obsessed with racing. It seems to have overtaken my desire to date...or not. But at least with racing I feel like I'm going somewhere (of course I am--I'm RACING!!). What I mean is that I'm moving forward, learning & getting better at sailing every time I'm on the boat. Which is massively satisfying. With this whole dating thing I feel stagnated, frustrated & at a loss. The dearth of appealing men out there--WHERE ARE THEY???? And where are the ones who sail? Bleh! What I find fascinating is last night's race & how that relates to dating....how, you may say...well, I'll tell ya'. Of the crew on the boat four of them met either crewing on that boat or on another one from the same racing group. So, as I said to one of the women who was 6 months pregnant (& still out there racing!), "There's hope for me yet."
Last night was amazing, though. It was rainy, messy & cold but my son & I put on our foul weather gear, sailing gloves, smartwool socks, & drove down to the West River to crew on an SR-33. My son was a trooper--I was so proud of him. It is tough to go out on a boat & crew for the first time in fair weather, but in the nasties, well...tons of props to my kid! He was part of the foredeck crew--he handled the downhaul for the kite this time. I was in the pit. Pit duties include the jib halyard, the main halyard, & the spinnaker as well. I also have to grind too. I liked being in the pit just as much as I enjoyed being on the foredeck of the J-42. It was a short race, but the captain & regular crew (of which I hope my son & I get to become part) were great. Particularly the sailmaster--he was so patient with my son--explaining everything & helping him do his job effectively.
After the race, which we lost, we all go over to eat at the place that sponsored the series: Pirate's Cove. They are set up for all of the sailors--and there are a lot--there's a buffet, etc., & everyone gathers to watch the video of the race & hang. It was a lot of fun--a great community. My son loved that part as well & it was too bad we had such a long drive ahead of us or we'd have stayed longer. The best part was that we will be back again in two weeks to race again. Both of us can't wait.
My cousin, who is also a sailor, pointed out to me on facebook that the last race I was in fell on my grandfather's birthday--April 18th. What a great tribute. Pops is no longer with us, but he was my hero--he was the original sailor. He would be so happy to see his greatgrandson out there like that. My son, for his part, finished the race with such great happiness & enthusiasm that I knew Pops was somewhere smiling, knowing that the sailing tradition continues.
